Sole parent Mel Allen on raising three kids and giving back after loss

When Mel Allen became a sole parent to three young children in 2017, she leaned on a support network of friends and a local veterans organisation. Now, she dedicates her time working for the organisation to support families in the same position as hers.

Mel Allen will celebrate Mother's Day on Sunday with her three children Tobias, 13, Pluto, 17, and Rhiley, 15 (not pictured). Picture: Brendan Radke

When Mel Allen became a sole parent to three young children in 2017, she leaned on a support network of friends and a local veterans organisation.

Now, she dedicates her time working for the organisation to support families in the same position as hers.

Ms Allen’s husband, Steve, was a navy veteran who died in service in 2017, leaving her a sole parent to their three children – Rhiley, Pluto and Tobias.

“It was really difficult and really shocking, but I am incredibly proud of the strength of myself and my kids and the resilience we’ve built,” Ms Allen said.

“My kids do sports six days a week and we always get there.

“While it’s a heavy workload, it’s what you do and it’s what you do for your family.”

“Whatever life throws at us, we deal with it together,” Ms Allen said, alongside children Tobias, 13 and Pluto, 17. Picture: Brendan Radke

The family received support from FNQ Legacy, a charity providing social and emotional support to the families of deceased or incapacitated veterans, which services an area from Cardwell to Thursday Island.

After a few years as a volunteer, Ms Allen took on the role of wellbeing officer at FNQ Legacy, where she now supports Far North women and families in the same position she was.

“I thought it would be triggering, but it’s actually pretty healing,” Ms Allen said.

“Peer support is really important in situations like that, rather than someone coming in that has no experience, and that builds trust as well. It’s really rewarding.”

Ms Allen said her friends also got her through the loss and that she was especially grateful for this support network on days like Mother’s Day.

“We’ve got a wonderful village that surrounds us,” she said.

“I’ve got wonderful friends and they are like second mums to my kids, so I’m very lucky in that way.

“We all know how hard she works for us. She is the best mother in the world,” son Tobias said. Picture: Brendan Radke

“I know that days like (Mother’s Day) are difficult.

“They’re lovely because you’re with your kids … but it’s also a glaring reminder that there’s that one person missing that would take the kids shopping and get them all hyped up for Mother’s Day.

“When my kids were younger, my friends would take them out to go shopping to buy stuff for Mother’s Day so that I would always have something.”

Ms Allen will be spending Mother’s Day with her group of friends and their families, as well as visiting her own mother.

“Every mum that I meet through work, through life, I’m just inspired by them,” she said.

“Everyone’s just working so hard for their kids and I think they’re amazing.”

FNQ Legacy is currently fundraising for the development of a Legacy House, which will be a support hub for Far North families including crisis accommodation, social services, tailored programs, a cafe lounge and an event space.

If you’d like to donate to the project or get more information, you can go to their website.

Originally published as Sole parent Mel Allen on raising three kids and giving back after loss