Susie Forte: Why I returned to the force after my policeman husband was murdered

Susie Forte, widow of slain policeman Brett Forte, was asked to pen an article for a police bulletin. They chose not to publish much of it. Here is every word, raw, powerful and unedited.

Susie Forte, widow of slain policeman Brett Forte, was asked to pen an article for the QPS Police Bulletin.

Her comments were raw and powerful, but the publication decided not to publish much of what she said.

Her brother-in-law Luke Forte has provided the Sunday Mail with her piece.

In 2016, I performed a secondment in the role of a ‘DV Project Officer’ at Toowoomba Station.

Without any specific job description for this DV role … it was decided that I would concentrate solely on high risk (HR).

I applied for this role because I always had a vested interest in investigating DV’s and knew that HR respondents posed a significant risk to the community.

In March 2017, I identified a HR respondent, who was involved in attending his ex-partners residence and discharging a firearm.

Senior Constable Brett Forte's wife Susan becomes emotional while reading her eulogy during his funeral in Toowoomba in 2017. Picture: AAP Image/Dan Peled

This respondent had a long history of significant violence upon people.

Due to my concerns about him, I worked closely with the ex-partner and quickly had her, and her children moved to a safe location pending the location and subsequent arrest of the respondent.

Fast forward to the 29th of May 2017, the day that ultimately changed my life forever.

On this day, I was on-duty when my late husband, Senior Constable Brett Forte, was murdered, by that very same respondent.

The terrifying radio calls will always be etched in my memory.

The weeks after Brett’s death remain a blur.

I went from being a full-time shift worker, on a double income wage raising three children, to a single parent on one wage.

The ongoing media attention (esp. with our children being in public eye constantly) and the fear of going back to work was extremely overwhelming, and I honestly did not know if I wanted to pursue my career as a police officer.

In July 2017, I returned to full-time Mon-Friday work.

To some, this short period of being away from work whilst having recently lost Brett may have seemed unrealistic, however, if it weren’t for the officer-in-charge of Toowoomba Police Station, Snr Sgt Tony Neumann, and close work colleagues and friends, all of whom have offered continued unwavering support, I do not believe I would be where I am today.

Police officer Senior Constable Susan Forte was honoured with the Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Award. She is the wife of slain Toowoomba police officer Brett Forte. Picture: Liam Kidston

I believe returning to work as soon as possible and being surrounded by a great support network is the foundation for a healthy recovery.

Our children were and are extremely anxious and scared and keep asking me what would happen if I were also to be killed, something I could not answer.

You came back to a tough job dealing with DFV perpetrators.

There were alternatives – find another (easier) job … quit work altogether … why did you choose to come back to work?

I returned to work with a lot of hesitation and uncertainty and coming back to a dangerous job dealing with high risk DV respondents was daunting, knowing that Brett was killed by a respondent I recognised as being dangerous.

I have some comfort in knowing that by working closely with the ex-partner of Brett’s murderer, my actions ensured her, and her children were not harmed in any way.

I do get emotionally and physically exhausted, however in order to cope with working full-time and raising a family.

I run most days.

Brett Forte, who was killed on duty in 2017, with his younger brother Luke. Picture: Supplied

Whenever I’m having a bad day, I’ll put headphones in and run.

My brother Luke Morris and I made a pact to run the NYC Marathon together in 2019, which we did.

This training diverted my attention from the grief my children and I were suffering, and the actual event was the one time since Brett’s death where I felt at peace.

How do you move through grief and anger without being swallowed up by it?

The challenges I have had to endure since Brett’s can be described as horrific.

I have been subjected to ongoing harassment and disgusting behaviours by some members of the community, one person saying, ‘you would be better off dead with your husband,’ and another saying, ‘the guy who killed your husband is my hero.’

And, just when you think the heartbreak of losing a loved one suddenly could not worsen, the way I have been treated by a minority of colleagues, who have not only blamed me for Brett’s death (because of my role working within the DV unit at the time) but have made my journey of recovery extremely challenging.

However, being faced with such encounters has only made me more resilient.

I am a very private person and have never spoken to any source since Brett’s death.

The reason I agreed to do this story was to let everyone know that no matter what adversity you may face, you can and will get through each day.

I want others to know how important it is to have people in your work environment that support you …. ones you can trust and know will be there during the tough days and nights.

Don’t be afraid to have a good cry when you need to and keep your sense of humour I have found even though I am a terribly ugly crier, I have found that it is self-soothing