RELATIONHIPS:It's time to exercise the loyal 'we'

Got a juicy secret about your partner? Busting to tell it? Don't. Just don't

No loyalty in a relationship? No more bedtime fun for either partner usually follows disloyal actions or words. Picture: Purestock

LET'S talk about an essential ingredient for a good relationship and great sex - loyalty. Loyalty kind of goes hand in hand with trust but what it really means is that your partner will never tell anyone else where you buried the body.

Nothing is as hurtful as your partner telling your secrets to strangers or bagging you out to them. And, if he or she does so, you have a total get out of jail card for never having sex with them again. No one likes a liar. But they also don't like a coward. It's your partner's job to have your back, not stick a knife in it.

Examples of this can be small - he or she tells all your friends how the reason you really couldn't make it on Saturday night was because you just didn't feel like it and you watched a movie on the sofa instead.

No one actually wants to hear embarrassing secrets either, such as how cute your midnight farts are or any of your bathroom habits for that matter. The rewards for being a gentleman are boundless.

Other betrayals can be large - he or she blabs your personal or family troubles to anyone who will listen or, worse, your relationship troubles as in: "Yeah, well, we're really not talking/having sex/getting on right now.”

Disloyalty is the eighth deadly sin I reckon, right up there with sloth and greed.

So, say you tell your partner something in confidence, a big, juicy secret, about something you shouldn't have done, but did. Or maybe you have a big fight and you're feeling pretty angry at him or her. You ring your best friend and tell them all the intimate details. No, no, no.

Sure, you can share that you had a fight but, if you're serious about the relationship and not asking for break-up advice, keep a bit to yourself. Or tell a therapist.