MY SAY: Trump's allure more than hair

I DON'T know about you but I will miss Donald Trump if he doesn't win the election on Wednesday.

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump speaks during the third presidential debate with Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton at UNLV in Las Vegas, Wednesday, Oct. 19, 2016. (AP Photo/David Goldman). Picture: David Goldman

I DON'T know about you but I will miss Donald Trump if he doesn't win the election on Wednesday (local time).

Although having just said that, if he doesn't win, he certainly won't go away.

There will be more on Donald and his Trumpisms to come whichever way the election goes.

Donald has entertained us like no other politician before him (apart from Boris Yeltsin, but he entertained us only occasionally, not so systematically like Donald.)

I'm guessing in the beginning you, like me, didn't take too much notice of Donald especially if you'd never watched his reality television show.

But as the recent months passed and then the weeks flashed by we took notice. The more gross he became the more addictive he became.

"He's an absolute clown," my 97-year-old mother told me in horrified tones, followed by "but I can't stop watching him."

And so too it has been for the rest of us, no?

In our household, every night just before 6pm, it's a case of "quick, turn on the news, we don't want to miss a minute of Donald".

On he comes with his orange face and grandiose comb-over mouthing offence with every sentence, and in an uncomfortably masochistic way, we lap up every word.

He brings a strange and dreadful relief to the news, takes our minds off the horrors of Syria for a brief and guilty moment.

It's not just about his vulgarity and offensiveness either. The comb-over lures us in. It's a ripper, no?

It appears he back-combs the heck out of it and then swirls it up from just above his left ear and also from the top of the back of his neck to meet in a voluptuous alliance at the crown of his head which he then attempts to hold down with industrial strength hair-spray.

But even super-glue could not hold down that heavy helmet of straw hair. It especially wants to have its way when it's in an alfresco situation.

He dare not walk off a plane and onto a tarmac without his baseball hat securely on, and he can't even stand at an outside podium without some sort of head gear protection.

If (please, God no) he does become president, I wonder if we will see the day when he comes face to face with Kim Jong Un, another man with an unfathomable hairstyle that lures you in. Unfortunately, I doubt we will ever see that day, but a meeting of the mighty hairstyles would be fascinating wouldn't it?

Now that baldness has well and truly come out of the closet and it is considered sexy on many men, why the need for a comb-over?

Why, as one blogger put it, would Donald Trump arrange his hair so it looked like a bunch of shredded wheat precariously glued to his head?

Have a buzz cut Donald. You'll look years younger and you can walk off a plane without your hat.