MY SAY: Nothing funny about weddings

HANDS up if you cry at weddings.

Sunshine Coast Daily deputy editor and columnist Damian Bathersby. Picture: Warren Lynam

HANDS up if you cry at weddings.

Okay, all you blokes can put your hands down so we can have a look at the girls.

Mmmm, there's a few of you. Now put your hands up if you cried at your own wedding.

Bloody hell! That's a lot! Maybe it's the thought of having to foot the bill.

Other peoples' weddings are more fun, of course, because they're a cheap night out.

How else would you get to spend $100 on a present and then enjoy five times that much in free food and drink?

I've always thought going to weddings was a bit like going on one of those weekends in a beachfront resort where it's free as long as you sit through a sales pitch.

Think about it.

Spend $100 on a gift; sit through a ceremony and a few speeches and then party the night away on someone else's account.

Winning!

I guess I've got weddings on the mind because we're off to one this afternoon.

It's the boss's actually.

It's been a while since the wife and I've been to a wedding that wasn't a family member.

For some reason we usually end up on the table with the crazy uncle who keeps winking at me and the bride's distant cousins who no one else likes.

I'm not why sure why it happens to us all the time.

Anyway, I wanted to provide a few fascinating facts about weddings to give this column a bit of soul.

You know, some beautiful yet funny thoughts to share with the bride and groom when I give my speech. (I haven't actually been asked to give one yet but I'm sure that's just an oversight).

But every time I did an internet search for funny wedding facts I got something about a bloke in Toowoomba who married his dog and some bird out west who tied the knot with her tractor.

Hilarious but completely wrong for today's nuptials.

I guess what I would say if I was asked to give a speech is that weddings aren't for crying. They're for laughing and drinking and dancing and drinking and drinking and ... you get the idea.

After all, getting married is something you'll only get to do three or four times in your life, so you should enjoy it every time.