Don't celebrate tragic waste

Daredevil's death is a reminder of how precarious life can be.

It’s 4.30 in the morning and my wife has just taken our younger son, Samuel, 3, to hospital while I stay home to look after our older kids.

He’s been throwing up all weekend and has a high temperature.

We ring the Queensland Health line, and a registered nurse advises us to take him to hospital, fearing he may have become dehydrated.

Watching your own three-year-old vomit is never easy, especially as he seems to reproduce more water and fluid than you’ve just watched him voraciously drink.

My poor wife was up with him most of the night on Saturday, emptying his little sandcastle bucket, mopping his hot head with a wet cloth and attending to his constant demands for more water, even though the poor little kid was only going to regurgitate it.

As I take my turn on Sunday morning, I think of what it would be like for parents in Third World countries to watch their children dying, knowing there is nothing they can do to help them.

Then my mind turns to Tyson Leader, the 18-year-old who is dead after falling from the balcony of a Gold Coast high-rise on the weekend while skylarking with friends.

Already his life has been “celebrated” as that of a “daredevil”, someone so intent on getting attention and pleasing others that he was prepared to put his own life at risk to get a laugh from his mates.

I think how many times Tyson’s mum must have had anxious moments with him, and all the time she has invested as a mother, only to have her son gone at 18, just as his life was starting to look good – new job, gorgeous girlfriend, the whole package.

I think of how she must have sometimes felt helpless trying to stop her son being the kid he obviously was – an extreme risk taker or a dangerous fool, depending on your viewpoint.

Already the Brisbane bloggers have passed judgment.

“That young man did not live life to the fullest, he was just plain foolhardy and paid for it with his life. Cats may have nine lives but people only have one,” one wrote.

“This idiot had just got a car? Sad as it is for the family, I for one feel a little safer without their ‘daredevil, skylarking, clown, death-defying’ child on the roads,” another declared.

But friends of Tyson had a different view.

“Tyson Leader was an amazing person,” one wrote.

“I am so devastated this has happened. He will never be forgotten, everyone loves him.

“None of you people even know him, so you should not say heartless things. Miss you, buddy.”

Then there was this: “September 2006, Tyson jumped out of the over-crowded car he was trapped in and pumped his hands in the air like some hero.

“Everybody around just rolled their eyes and thought what an idiot. Drunk and drugged, they all cheated death that night, on Karawatha Drive, Buderim.

“Two months later, three young teenagers died on the same road after hitting a tree at a phenomenal speed. One girl was left seriously injured…

“I would rather put my time, effort and grief into those who have respect for the gift of life and for those who are truly sick and struggle every day to take every breath.”

Tyson’s tragic ending has me thinking what is it about some young people that makes them think they are invincible?

It’s the same attitude that sees them tearing down the highway, dragging mates, spinning their wheels in a crowded street, and taking corners like there is no tomorrow.

If only they would stop for a moment to think of that C word: consequences.

If only they would stop to think of the heartache they will cause mums like Jan Leader as she now faces the prospect of burying her son.

If Tyson is to leave a real legacy on the Coast it should not be to celebrate the life of a daredevil.

It should be that young people across this region – and beyond – take a little more time to consider what happens when something goes terribly wrong.

Tyson may have been “doing what he loved”, but when he fell he was not doing what he loved – he was on his way to a premature death.

His life should be a sobering reminder to all of us, young and old, that it takes only a moment of madness for our existence on Earth to be snuffed out.

And as every parent – who has invested so much time, energy and pain into raising their children – knows, nothing can replace the joy of seeing your kids grow up and live life to the fullest.

Originally published as Don't celebrate tragic waste