Kingaroy’s scathing review by viral facebook page Sh-t Towns of Australia

Described as the South Burnett’s ‘sh-tter’, full of inbreeding and beset by unforgiving winters, a viral review of Kingaroy hasn’t pulled any punches. Here’s what they had to say:

A popular Facebook page known for skewering towns and cities across the country has taken aim at Kingaroy and hasn’t pulled any punches, attacking the town’s gonad size, ant infestation, and even its most famous alumni.

The page Sh-t Towns of Australia boasts over 500,000 followers and regularly posts scathing reviews of suburbs and towns from across the nation.

The colourful review gave outsiders a peep into what to expect in Kingaroy should they choose to visit, describing it as the “South Burnett’s sh-tter”.

“Kingaroy is known as the ‘Peanut Capital of Australia’ due to the mangled nature of the male population’s genitalia — generations of inbreeding, unforgiving winters and exposure to an array of toxic chemicals have left them rocking pronks that resemble a shrivelled nut,” the post read.

“The town’s landscape is dominated by massive ‘peanut silos’, where a team of deranged scientists work feverishly on new technology to enhance the town’s disappointing dongs so that male Kingaroos can at least go swimming without being laughed at by an eight-year-old boy.”

The post also took aim at the town’s “perennial infestation” of “bitey little bastard” ants, as well as warning visitors the town was known for its “red dirt, Red Rooster and rednecks”.

While acknowledging the town’s sporting prowess, the page also manage to get a few digs in, attributing the sporting scene to the fact “there is f--k all else to do in town”.

The page also made reference to the town’s most famous alumnus, former Premier Joh Bjelke-Petersen, describing him as the “GOAT in the sport of political corruption”.

While most of the page’s reviews are met with mixed responses, with some seeing the funny side and others rushing to defend their hometown, the Kingaroy post has been received almost-universal feedback that the town got off easy.

“Did you even go to Kingaroy? I mean, seriously, this is not even scraping the surface, it’s like you passed through on a quiet Tuesday afternoon,” one commenter wrote.

“Having lived and worked in Kingaroy for many years, your review was far too kind,” wrote another.

“You left out the delights of Kingaroy Shoppingworld, incest, teen pregnancy, junkies, the world standard car park near the ‘travel centre’ and the main street (inspiringly called Kingaroy St) good enough to rival Oxford Street if you squint enough until you are blind.”