George St Beat: LNP’s epic fail in attempt to connect with young voters

Forget comparisons of his budget to dry Weet-bix, Queensland’s Treasurer cops far harsher criticisms that are much closer to home. He shares his whinges, and a wine, with us. THIS IS GEORGE ST BEAT

Welcome to a calm and methodical, budget-themed edition of George Street Beat.

TREASURER’S HARSHEST CRITICS PULL NO PUNCHES

His budget was compared to dry Weet-Bix this week, but that was nothing compared to the feedback he gets from his own children.

Like a Labor leader in a Qantas lounge, we’re “on the red wine”, and our second guest is Treasurer David Janetzki.

He reveals his secret talent as a pianist, how triggered he was at our reporter’s canteen comments, and just what his teenage daughters think of him.

CAUGHT WITH DRUGS? CALL ME

An attempt to connect with young voters across the state saw each minister allowed to bring their very own influencer along to this year’s state budget.

Unlike the federal budget, where influencers with both political knowledge and clout were plentiful, the state pickings were a little slim.

On budget day, GSB was on the lookout for these elusive online superstars.

Primary Industries Minister Tony Perrett had a country-cool pick with Renee Spencer (@brownhatt), an ag-fluencer from Emerald and a familiar face on ABC’s Musterdogs.

But it seems she wasn’t entirely across the brief, posting a TikTok to her 244,000 followers the day before, listing things she wished were in the budget. Awkward.

Not all influencers were vetted equally, it seems.

Agriculture influencer Renee Spencer. Supplied: ABC

James Diamond, aka ‘Aussielawyer’ — a law-fluencer with 66,000 followers and serious gym bro energy — got the gig spruiking the “Attorney-General’s budget.”

Just days earlier, he posted a ‘Friday fit check’ video joking, “don’t get done with drugs and if you do get done with drugs, DM (direct message) and we can assist”.

GSB looked into his profile, it turns out he specialises in company law, not criminal.

As for the rest of the influencer line-up?

There wasn’t much budget buzz on socials, if this was meant to be a major digital push, it mostly flew under the radar.

It’s worth noting the government says the influencers weren’t paid for their … influence.

TALE INSIDE

The most exciting moment of this bland budget week came when a tower of yoghurt attacked locked up journalists.

Treasurer David Janetzki had barely left the room when one scribe picked the wrong glass of yoghurt – sending the tower crashing down.

The Callide-level explosion left strawberry puree soaking into the carpet and many journalists desperately wiping their crisp dress to prevent stains.

Unlike Mr Janetzki, GSB is happy to promptly inform Queenslanders when these types of explosions happen.

STOLEN PLAN

The ideas man treasurer was chomping at the bit at getting the chance to implement Queensland Government Consulting – his internal taskforce to save taxpayers $7bn.

So excited was Mr Janetzki and his team, nobody thought to check if they could use the name.

Unfortunately, someone forgot to trademark the name and it was snapped up before Mr Janetzki’s big budget day.

Treasurer David Janetzki. Photo Steve Pohlner

Instead, the government chose Queensland Government Consulting Services.

RECYCLED RUBBISH

Before transforming into a statesman, Steven Miles was the class clown deputy premier.

He – accidentally, or not – called Prime Minister Scott Morrison a “c*nt”, tore up a quarantine invoice issued by the New South Wales government and in 2021 personally bought a Blues jersey and had ‘Crisafulli’ printed on the back.

Four years later – thanks to GSB’s revelation the government was changing the colour of Queensland’ coat of arms from maroon to blue – the NSW jersey has come out of storage.

Steven Miles calling the then Prime Minister Scott Morrison a bad word =. Photographer: Liam Kidston.

“David Crisafulli wants to change Queensland’s colour to blue so I’ve got a surprise for him,” Mr Miles this week said.

“I’ve bought him a present.”

You can’t give someone the same gift twice.

WILL AND KATE

Parliament’s spear-carrying monarchist Jarrod Bleijie and his transport minister prince Brent Mickelberg have a lofty goal to get the king-in-waiting to Queensland.

The Deputy Premier wants Will and Kate to attend the opening of Cross River Rail – which he and Mr Mickelberg “look forward” to naming the Elizabeth Line in honour of her late majesty.

“I am told reliably by the Deputy Premier that Will and Kate will cut the ribbon,” Mr Mickelberg said.

Mr Bleijie is promising many more projects “will be opening over the next few years named in His Majesty’s honour”.

Perhaps Will and Kate will need to buy a home in Queensland.

It should be easy with the government’s Boost to Buy shared equity scheme giving them a leg up.

Prince William, Prince of Wales and Catherine, Princess of Wales. Picture: Getty Images

Are there any alternative royals – current or former – Mr Bleijie would invite?

“I will give you Will and Kate, but I am not going to give you Harry or Meghan. They are not welcome in Queensland,” he told parliament.

Of course, Mr Bleijie made global headlines in 2021 when he accused Meghan Markel of mistakenly marrying the wrong Prince: “The problem started when American actress Meghan Markle was told William would be King not Harry,” Mr Bleijie tweeted.

“So if she can’t be the future Queen, she’ll attempt to take down the institution. The Crown will prevail!”

FENTIMAN FIXER’S NEW GIG

If there’s one thing Queensland’s community sector needed, it was clearly another political fixer.

Enter Robert Hoge.

Former journalist, longtime Labor whisperer and the newly-anointed government relations media man at Queensland Council of Social Service – the non-profit peak body representing the vulnerable, the voiceless, and the absolutely broke.

Former journalist and fixer Robert Hoge.

Mr Hoge was once known in George Street circles as Shannon Fentiman’s trusted spin doctor and fire blanket as a senior executive at Queensland Health.

The change of government in October put the writing on the wall and Mr Hoge left his role soon after.

Now he has the glorious task of smoothing relations between community groups and a new LNP government.

PARLIAMENT PLAGUE

Forget cost blowouts, the real crisis sweeping the Crisafulli government is the biblical-style pestilence currently taking out MPs.

Finance Minister Ros Bates was notably missing from the most sacred of political rituals – budget week – due to a mystery illness that landed her in the hospital.

What’s even more concerning is that just days earlier Ms Bates (did you know she’s a registered nurse?) was spotted bedside at hospitalised backbencher James Lister’s room after the Darling Downs MP slipped a disc.

He’s been dutifully working from hospital while Ms Bates checked his pulse for good measure.

Ros Bates, the Minister for Finance, Trade, Employment and Training: Picture: Steve Pohlner

Then there’s Laura Gerber who fell eerily silent this week, her sore throat keeping her uncharacteristically quiet in the chamber.

John-Paul Langbroek also joined the croaky choir with his own raspy rendition of Question Time.

He attempted to console fellow sick MP Donna Kirkland by complimenting her husky voice -in front of the entire chamber.

Safe to say, it did not go down well.

At this point, GSB is wondering, is it airborne? waterborne? spiritually inflicted? Or is it just the stress of defending a multi-billion dollar budget black hole catching up with their central nervous systems?

Budget repair can wait, someone find the Strepsils!