Mum sets up care package service in five hospitals for mothers who suffer pain of miscarriage

An Aussie mum has opened up about one of the most harrowing periods of her life, and how she came out the other side.

Barbara Armstrong is the founder of Sweet Peanuts which offers support packages to women who have experienced a miscarriage. Picture: Steve Pohlner

It took a stranger’s tears for Barbara Armstrong to realise exactly what she had missed out on during one of the most harrowing periods of her life.

Just weeks after suffering a miscarriage in her second trimester, Ms Armstrong broke down after she was seated next to woman with a newborn while waiting for a blood test.

It was the reaction of the phlebotomist on duty that day the put things in perspective.

“I told her what had happened and she began crying with me, it was the first time someone had shown some kind of compassion,” she said.

She said the treatment she received straight after the miscarriage was “very clinical” and that joining a support group wasn’t suggested until months later.

Five years on, Ms Armstrong is now mother to three-year-old Mia, but the loss of her first child, a little girl she nicknamed Peanut, inspired her to start Sweet Peanuts, which helps people through the difficult times that follow a miscarriage.

The Sweet Peanuts care package is now offered in five hospitals across Queensland and a sixth one is undergoing a trial in NSW.

“I asked mums in support groups what they would’ve needed after their miscarriage and essentially built a care package off that,” she said.

With Mother’s Day nearing, Ms Armstrong said it was a timely reminder that the event could hold different meaning for different people.

“You are still a mother to a baby whether the pregnancy was successful or not and that needs to be acknowledged and recognised,” she said.

“What you’ve experienced doesn’t make you not a mum.”

Ms Armstrong said her miscarriage, which happened about a month after Mother’s Day 2019, made her “feel like she was going backwards”.

“Mother’s Day can be a very difficult day for some and for me I had just gone through what I thought would be my first Mother’s Day as a mum,” she said.

Barbara Armstrong is the founder of Sweet Peanuts who offer support packages to women who have experienced a miscarriage. Picture: Steve Pohlner

“You just think ‘I’m no longer a mother, this was supposed to be a happy day, why isn’t it?’”

Ms Armstrong said family and friends could help women navigate the tragedy of miscarriage by making them feel valid and heard.

“It’s different for everyone but give them space and time and make sure they’re aware that you are there and obviously here to listen to them as well,” she said.

Ms Armstrong said she experienced conflicting emotions grieving her own miscarriage.

“There’s also those feelings of shame and guilt and thinking you did everything right and wondering where you went wrong,” she said.

Ms Armstrong said she had grown her social enterprise with the support of the federally-funded Accelerator for Enterprising Women, a free program created in partnership with the Council of Small Business Organisations Australia.

Accelerator for Enterprising Women spokesperson Fleur Anderson said Sweet Peanuts was exactly the type of enterprise its program was designed to foster.

“There are so many smart, driven women with transformational ideas that go to the heart of improvising our society and people’s lives. We need to harness their thinking and build a path for them in social enterprise and business,” Ms Anderson said.