Parenting: Psychologists warn fathers to be a role model for a better bond with their children

Queensland fathers who spend time having fun and playing with their children after work might be risking losing out on a special bond with them and damaging their image as role models, a new study warns. But the good news is there is a simple fix.

LOTS of fun and play after a day’s work is not enough for dads to build strong relationships with their kids, one of Australia’s leading psychologists warns.

New research in the Journal of Family Psychology reveals that fathers must pitch in with the every day care of small children, even on a working day, to strengthen bonds with the tots. Those that engage solely in play are less likely to secure a tight attachment.

FATHERS WHO HOLD BABY AT BIRTH MORE INVOLVED IN CARE

“Children look to their fathers as role models,” Dr Michael Carr-Gregg told The Courier-Mail.

“They set the template for masculinity. While children might enjoy playing they need to see that dad take a strong interest in their welfare and care.

“Dads should kneel down and listen to their kids in proper communication and regardless of whether they have been at work they must share the load. If the toilet needs cleaning then that’s what they have to do.”

Dad Tim Powers pictured spending time with his kids Mia, 8, and Sophie, 4, at their home in Ipswich. Picture: AAP Image/Josh Woning

Decades of research have focused on mother-child attachment security but there’s much less research on the father-child relationship and how a secure attachment relationship is formed, say researchers from the University of Georgia.

“It’s a complicated story but I think this reflects differences in these contexts of family interaction time on workdays versus non-workdays,” author Geoffrey Brown said.

“The most important thing on a workday, from the perspective of building a good relationship with your children, seems to be helping to take care of them. Relying too much on play during workdays, when your child or partner needs you to help out with caregiving, could be problematic. But play seems more important when there’s more time and less pressure.

It is not all about dads playing when it comes to bonding with child. iStock

McCrindle research shows that 20 per cent of Australia’s population is made up of dads.

“Ultimately, fathers who engage in a variety of parenting behaviours and adjust their parenting to suit the demands and circumstances of each individual day are probably most likely to develop secure relationships with their children,” the author said.

Policeman Tim Powers has a high pressured job but always finds time in his day to help with the care of his two children.

“Since I work shift work which can be quite demanding, I’m not always at home to help out with getting dinner ready or helping out with homework. So when I am home I like to spend as much time with the kids as I can to build our relationship. It is important that my kids don’t only remember me as always being at work but also remember me for being a hands on dad at home making memories,” Mr Power said.