How Gerard’s tyranny broke Allison down to nothing
ALLISON Baden-Clay’s parents have shed new light on how their daughter was reduced to "nothing" by a controlling husband who left her isolated and without money before eventually murdering her.
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ALLISON Baden-Clay was a successful, independent career woman whose controlling husband reduced her to “nothing”, restricting her access to money and cutting her off from family.
Allison’s family has opened up about their guilt at not doing more to intervene in the abusive and controlling relationship that eventually saw her murdered in Brisbane at the hands of her husband.
And they’ve shed new light on Allison’s gradual decline from career woman to an isolated mother who wore worn out shoes and was banned from calling her parents.
Allison was left with no money, only given access to a credit card to buy groceries and had her relatives blocked from ringing their home number.
Allison’s parents, Geoff and Priscilla Dickie, along with her sister Vanessa Fowler, will tell Allison’s story as part of a Griffith University program aimed at teaching people how best to approach someone in an abusive relationship.
“We would have interfered more, but in our day you didn’t interfere in a marriage,” her father Geoff said.
“It’s just old school. We saw all the signs at different times. Once Allison was isolated from us – that was a sign.
“We talked to her about it. But I was conscious that he would have found out that Allison was talking to us about this and about him and how he was treating her.
“You give her away at the wedding and you say, now, you’ve got to look after her. It didn’t turn out the way it should have. And it went further in that she died, she was murdered. He’s done the ultimate.”
Allison was murdered by her husband Gerard in 2012 at their Brookfield home.
Gerard, a real estate agent who considered himself a prominent businessman in the area, phoned police and reported Allison missing, saying she had left for a walk and not returned.
Gerard was eventually charged and convicted of his wife’s murder in what would become one of Queensland’s most high-profile investigations.
Allison’s family will use that profile to help other victims of domestic and family violence through a university program that teaches people how to recognise the signs of an unhealthy relationship and shows them the best way to intervene.
Griffith’s MATE Bystander Program, which currently offers training programs to the corporate and business world, is aimed at changing the idea that people should not get involved in someone’s personal life.
The program is targeting businesses in the hope it will educate people on the misconception that domestic and family violence only affects lower socio-economic areas.
It is hoped that the program will eventually be adapted to schools and Allison’s story will be as effective as Daniel Morcombe’s in educating young people.
Allison’s family say they tried to convince her to leave her husband but she stayed because she did not want to uproot her three daughters.
“From our perspective, we could see that there were small incidents happening and they were getting more frequent,” Ms Fowler said.
“However, we felt that if we interfered, we may make things worse for Allison.
“So we stepped back, because she said to us that she was strong – which she was. And we knew that if she needed us, she knew that we were always there for her.”
Ms Fowler said it was Allison’s decision to leave her career and become a stay-at-home mum that was the greatest indication she was changing.
She said it did not appear to have been Allison’s choice.
“For me, (the first sign) was that she agreed to give up a highly successful career to have children when I knew and she knew that she could handle both,” Ms Fowler said.
“Things become more obvious when the eldest was born the dominance and controlling – and you could see the controlling of the child.
“One of Allison’s heartbreaks was that she couldn’t parent the way that she wanted to parent.
“She tried her hardest but I think that was one of her main heartaches and main regrets. I think that she was not allowed to be the parent that she wanted to be.”
Allison was eventually banned from speaking to her family. Gerard deleted their numbers from Allison’s mobile and blocked them from calling the landline. Allison told her parents their landline was broken when they complained of not being able to get through.
She was left to wear shoes that were worn through and falling apart. One of the last times they saw Allison, during a family gathering over Easter in Tallebudgera, the Dickies witnessed her hand back a credit card to Gerard.
“It’s devastating to go from a woman who earned a lot of money and was in a high position to a person that never had (money) – I think she had $20 in the end,” Geoff said.
“She had nothing. Priscilla was trying to buy her shoes. She had cracks in her shoes. It was terrible.
“What he did was bring her right down. From a well-educated woman to nothing. And that’s the way he wanted her.”
Ms Fowler said Gerard controlling the finances made it difficult for Allison to leave because she felt as though she would be unable to provide for her children alone.
“Not only did she have to protect her children, she also had no finances to go,” she said.
“Even though we had said to her, come to us, pack those girls up and come to us.”
Allison’s family believe that it was her change in attitude towards the end that may have led to her death. Allison, they said, was re-entering the workforce and returning to the happy, confident, independent woman she had once been.
They believed this contributed to Gerard beginning to lose the control he had once had over her.
The Dickies, who are now bringing up Allison’s three daughters, say they will teach them different life lessons to those they gave Allison.
Priscilla said she had always told Allison that marriage has its “ups and downs” and that it was only a matter of getting through the “bad times” until the return of the good.
“I just say follow your heart. If you feel that’s it, then that’s it. Leave,” she said. She said Allison’s daughters would be brought up to be independent, to recognise the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship early.
Ms Fowler said she would advise people to see any sign of controlling behaviour as a warning sign.
“No longer should you mind your own business,” she said.
“That’s the way we were all brought up. To not get involved. I think our view on that has changed.”
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