Bullying QLD: Helicopter parents hindering rather than helping

WELL-meaning parents trying to stop their children being bullied are actually making matters worse, a submission to a bullying taskforce says.

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HELICOPTER parents are exacerbating the school bullying crisis by jumping in to solve their children’s problems rather than helping them become more resilient.

A submission to the Premier’s taskforce on cyber-bullying from the University of Queensland’s Parenting and Family Support Centre argues parents need to step up and help tackle the social scourge, rather than sit back and expect schools to do the heavy lifting.

“Until recently, the role of parents to supplement efforts of schools in protecting students against victimisation has been mainly overlooked,” it reads.

The submission cites the success of the Centre’s Triple P Resilience program, which works with the parents and families of bullying victims to make those children less vulnerable to schoolyard and cyber-bullies.

According to the submission, children whose parents participated in the resilience program were less likely to be victims, and were more likely to be accepted by their peers and enjoy school.

Psychologist and parenting expert Matthew Sanders said parents must stop trying to fix their children’s problems for them.

Psychologist Matthew Sanders, the director of the Parenting and Family Support Centre, said courses taught parents they need to stop swooping in and trying to fix their children’s problems for them.

“I think there are a lot of parents of kids who are bullied who are worried about their children, this can lead them to become overprotective and lead them to step in and deal with the issue themselves, and this is not a long-term solution,” he said.

Dr Sanders said parents needed to model ways to cope with difficult situations, and give children the confidence to face peers who were excluding or bullying them.

The Premier’s taskforce has been charged with developing a framework for addressing cyber-bullying and recommending a suite of actions for government and schools to take to reduce the incidence of cyber-bullying by August 31.

The taskforce has almost finished its lengthy consultation with the community, which has included holding 13 public forums to seek the views of young people, parents, and teachers.

It has also received over 300 submissions from organisations or members of the public, and The Sunday Mail understands a number of those described personal experiences of bullying or cyber-bullying.

If you or someone you know needs help, call Kids’ Help Line on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636