Behind the smiles: Remembering the mothers no longer here

While many celebrate with gifts and brunch, Motherless Daughters Australia urges empathy for millions of women quietly grieving the loss of their mums on Sunday.

Motherless Daughters Australia co-founder Danielle Snelling with her mum Rosa, who died of cancer. Pictures: contributed

As Queensland prepares to celebrate Mother’s Day on Sunday with flowers, brunches and cards, not everyone will be joining in the festivities.

For the 1.2 million daughters across the country who lost their mums early in life, the day can be a painful reminder of what’s missing, not a celebration, but a source of grief.

Motherless Daughters Australia, a national not-for-profit, is urging the community to widen the lens on Mother’s Day and consider how it affects those who no longer have their mums.

Co-founder and executive officer of MDA Danielle Snelling knows the feeling all too well.

She was 23 when she lost her mum, Rosa, to cancer.

Left without emotional support, she co-founded Motherless Daughters Australia, known as MDA, to create the community she had needed.

Motherless Daughters Australia co-founder Danielle Snelling misses her mum on Mother’s Day. Picture: Contributed

Preliminary findings from the Economic Impact of Mother Loss in Australia report show that 73 per cent of bereaved daughters seek mental health support after their loss.

On Sunday, Ms Snelling wants people to be aware of the 4 million women across the country who have lost their mums.

“Grief is an invisible wound, and the silence around it can be deafening,” Ms Snelling said.

“For those who have lost their mum, especially at a young age, Mother’s Day can trigger everything from sadness and anger to deep isolation.

“People often avoid the topic entirely because they don’t know what to say but avoidance makes it worse.

“Simply acknowledging someone’s grief, saying their mum’s name or asking them to share a memory can mean everything.”

Brisbane woman Emma Cream, now in her early 30s, lost her mum when she was just 23.

Brisbane woman Emma Cream with her mum Caroline, who died after a car crash and liver disease. Picture: Contributed

Her 52-year-old mum Caroline died of liver disease, a loss that still shapes Ms Cream every day.

After her mum’s death she moved overseas for two years before returning and finding she had nobody to talk to about the loss, which is why she turned to Motherless Daughters Australia.

“She was my best friend, my first love, the person I turned to for everything,” Ms Cream said.

“What hits me hardest now are the milestones she’ll never get to witness, weddings, speeches, meeting my partner.

“I take Mother’s Day off every year and go to her favourite beach at sunrise, just to feel close to her. She might be gone, but she’s still with me, always.”

Brisbane woman Emma Cream still misses her mum Caroline. Picture: Contributed

Lucinda Van Bael, 43, from Toowoomba, lost her mother Clare to a stroke at just 14.

“At 42, I’m still sad and mad. Society doesn’t grasp how life-altering it is to lose your mum, especially so young,” she said.

These days, she writes birthday and Mother’s Day cards to her mum as a way to stay connected.

Other Queensland women shared similar experiences.

Jennifer Mallon from Rockhampton lost her mum, Doreen, to leukaemia.

Morgan Hunter from the Sunshine Coast lost her entire family, including her mother Kerrie, in a car crash when she was a baby.

And Janet Davidson McGowan from McDowall still grieves her mother, Valda, decades after her death from cancer.

“This grief doesn’t go away,” Ms Snelling said.

“It becomes part of the person left behind.”

This Mother’s Day, MDA is asking Australians to consider a simple act of support with a message, a memory, a moment.

“Grief isn’t brief but being remembered can make a world of difference,” Ms Snelling said.