Youth suicide: The conversation every parent must have

Youth suicide is a tough topic to deal with, but the only thing worse than talking about it is not talking about it, writes Stephanie Bennett.

Children dying by suicide is just about the most frightening and confronting topic I can imagine.

Just the idea that our society’s most vulnerable and innocent members could be in the darkest of places, often without us as parents knowing, is almost too much to bear.

But what is even worse than talking about children and suicide, is not talking about it.

And the time to talk about it, is right now.

Pretending that this issue is not part of the world we live in does a great disservice to every child and young person who has taken their own life.

While we all hope and pray that our own families will never be impacted by the most tragic and traumatic of events, we know that suicide does not discriminate.

It is incumbent on us to do everything possible to ensure the health of our young people, of our future.

Each year at least 20 Queensland children die by suicide. At least 20 children with their whole lives ahead of them. More than one every month.

Can you imagine for a moment, the outrage and the uproar if that many kids died playing rugby league on the weekends? Or were attacked by sharks each year?

For Queensland children aged between 10 and 14, suicide is the second biggest killer they face.

For older teens, they are more likely to die by suicide than any other reason.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Suicide is the greatest risk to our kids – more than drowning, more than drugs and alcohol, more than that stranger in your street.

Right now, we are living through one of the most stressful and disturbing periods of most of our lifetimes.

Living through it alongside us, bearing the full brunt of lockdowns and missed holidays and strained friendships, are our children.

We love to talk about how much better it was ‘back in the day’.

While it’s nostalgic to think about the way things used to be, we must acknowledge the times we are living in now, and be informed and educated about the very real issues our kids face everyday.

To every young person out there who is struggling, there is help available. There are people who will listen. There is always hope.

And I make a promise to you, that I will not stop talking about this issue.

To every parent, please take the time this weekend to have a conversation with your kids, no matter how tough or confronting it may be.

And do it again next week, and the one after, and the one after that. Be brave.

Let them know you are there for them, as are the wonderful experts who have dedicated their lives to helping our precious kids.

We owe our children nothing less.

HOW TO HAVE THE CONVERSATION WITH YOUR KIDS:

There is no perfect way to talk with your kids about suicide and mental health. But national youth mental health foundation headpsace has some recommendations to help get the conversation started.

It is important to stay calm, listen and validate their experiences so they feel safe and supported. make sure you are feeling calm and open to listening.

It can be helpful to begin with an open question such as:

* How is (e.g, school/sport) going?

* How are you getting on with (e.g, your friends/your siblings)?

* How are you feeling about (e.g, studying/exams)?

You could also try using ‘I’ statements such as:

* I’ve noticed that you seem to have a lot on your mind lately. I’m happy to talk or listen and see if I can help.

* It seems like you (haven’t been yourself lately/have been up and down), how are things?

* You seem (anxious/sad), what is happening for you? We can work it out together.

* It’s OK if you don’t want to talk to me, you could talk to (trusted/known adult). I will keep letting you know I love you and am concerned.

How you talk will depend on their age and understanding. If your they open up about their mental health, reassure them you’re glad and relieved that they’re talking to you.

If you are worried about suicide, ask direct questions.

*Have you ever thought about death?’

*Have you ever thought about ending your life?’

Source: headspace