Rory Gibson: When life’s semen hard don’t put a sting in the tale

Toxic masculinity will always find a way, even it if means shagging females to death, writes Rory Gibson.

A genetically modified male mosquito has been made to wipe out females.

How good is Aussie know-how? It’s just come up with a way to make toxic masculinity a force for good.

Researchers at Macquarie University reckon they can wipe out biting mosquitoes, which are the female ones, by getting male mozzies to literally bonk them to death.

They have been tooling around with genetics and plan to create an army of stud mozzies loaded with semen that’s been juiced up with spider and sea anemone venom, ensuring a swift demise for the unsuspecting ladies.

One shot and they’re gone. Sounds like a Mortein ad.

When love is in the air, those bad boys will be thrusting hard on our behalf, using their toxic masculinity for the good of humanity.

It’s a feel-good story, right? Indubitably … but I see problems.

In this world-gone-mad era we live in, there are crazies out there who see the male of the species - any species - as BAD. We are the root of all evil.

The sooner we are dispatched to Neuterville and drained of testosterone the planet will improve markedly, they think.

When word gets out about this marvellous scientific endeavour there’ll be marches of outrage about the weaponising of sex to eliminate only the females, conveniently forgetting how bloody annoying they are (mozzies, not the marchers … I think).

The protesters will highlight the gender of the lead researchers (they’re blokes) and label them misogynists, which ironically in this case is the right use of the word because they do indeed hate the females (mosquitoes, not the protesters … I think).

Pretty soon insect advocate groups will be venting that this lethal technique will be directed at other gentle creatures whose right to exist shouldn’t be questioned. Get ready for the #FleaToo movement.

You know where this is heading - the crowd that hates gene modification in anything will jump on board and cry that this is the thin end of the wedge.

It’s only a matter of time, they’ll claim, before the patriarchy adapts the science for human use, and men will be putting all sorts of suspect additives in their semen in order to continue their relentless campaign to subjugate women.

They may have a point there, but let’s not jump ahead of ourselves.

I know I speak for all men when I say there’s no way any of us would do that… unless it had been perfected first.