Parenting expert says children will cope if parents are not allowed in classrooms on first day of prep

Many parents were outraged after some schools revealed they would not be letting them walk kids into class on their first day in 2021. But Dr Judith Locke says you not being there might actually be the best thing for anxious little ones. JOIN THE CONVERSATION

There has been quite the debate about parents not being allowed to take their child into the classroom on their first school day in some Queensland schools in 2021, due to COVID-19 social distancing needs.

Since The Sunday Mail reported the story, some parents have been upset that they won’t be able to support their child and expressed worry about their little ones being overwhelmed and unable to cope.

But is it so bad if parents don’t even enter the classroom – or might it end up being OK?

First school days have changed. A few generations ago, a Polaroid taken of them in their uniform was practically the only must-do action of the first school day.

But over the last 30 years, it has evolved into a morning of parents, grandparents, and sometimes the neighbour, accompanying the child into the school grounds, taking abundant photos, and the cheer team hanging around for longer than the typical drop off.

Unfortunately, the presence of this entourage can make children take longer to settle into the new environment.

That’s because their loyalties are divided between maintaining the attention of their loved ones and getting into the classroom activity they’ve dreamt of for so long.

I completely concur that the first day is an important milestone.

For many parents it signals returning to a less full-time parenting role, and while this is exciting, grief and tears are often associated with the day as well as nerves.

Parenting expert Dr Judith Locke. Picture: Jamie Hanson

But, not all children or parents approach the day with trepidation. Some children dart away from their parents at the first sighting of the classroom, demonstrating confidence to leave their parent, and that they’ll reconnect at the end of the day.

Ironically, this easy separation on the part of the child can be heartbreaking for some parents

(‘What? They don’t need me?’). Some will then go over to their child with ‘Mummy is going now’ and a drawn-out, emotional hug. And that can be a cue for a child to give the parent the emotion they think the parent wants from them, prompting more sadness and worry in the child than initially felt.

Of course, there will be some children who are more nervous, but if there’s a group of people most prepared to help children through initial nerves and unfamiliarity, it’s Prep teachers.

Remember parents must leave their child alone at school at some point in their first school day. Whether that be in the classroom or the school hall is not necessarily the key ingredient of whether they cope or not.

Rather, their readiness to manage the transition is sufficient preparation in the weeks and months leading up to it.

It is things like the school organising an experience day for students to get comfortable in the classroom with their new peers and teacher prior to the school year.

For families, it’s not overexciting the child in the weeks prior which risks making it a bigger deal. It’s also getting children used to being away from their parents via going to preschool or being at Nanna’s.

If they haven’t had that experience yet, then the onus is on parents to set up opportunities for them to learn to cope with separation now.

Do not underestimate the resilience of children. On the day, hug them briefly, wish them a great day, wipe the tear from your eye and leave them in the school hall or classroom, confident that you’ve prepared them well for the next exciting chapter of their lives.