Opinion: With these guys, the joke is always on us

When the entire parliament collapses into a giggling heap when a minister announces – smirk, snicker – an inquiry, then we have a serious problem, writes Mike O’Connor.

When it comes to ­enjoying a joke and a good laugh, the happy ­little band of campers that favours state parliament with its ­presence on those rare days when it sits has few peers.

Not a sad or sorry face to be seen in the chamber last week, just smiles, giggles, grins and the odd guffaw.

The reason for this hilarity? Was this Christmas cheer come early? Peace on Earth, good will to men and all that?

Well, no. It was a joke well told and the joke teller was none other than Mick de Brenni (dubbed by some the Minister for Pork Barrelling) who had just – and stop me if you’ve heard this one – ­announced that he had ordered an inquiry into the Queensland Building and Construction Commission.

On hearing this, the entire chamber erupted in spontaneous hysterics. The opposition fell about laughing as one, government members clutched their sides and Minister de Brenni grinned like a wolf about to fall on the fold.

Minister for Public Works Mick de Brenni. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Dan Peled

It was all so trouser-wettingly funny. Mass incontinence loomed, but surely this was serious business. This newspaper had been airing ­allegations of political interference and dysfunction at the commission for months, forcing de Brenni to ­announce the review, which will be headed by Jim Varghese, a director of Springfield City Group and a ­former director-general in the ­Beattie government. The inquiry would provide “recommendations for any potential improvements to the QBCC governance arrangements to ensure best practice’’.

So why was everyone laughing? The joke, as tends to be the case, was on us for everyone sitting in the Legislative Assembly on that day knew that regardless of the outcome of the review, the government and their union mates would continue to ride roughshod over accepted rules of governance when it came to the QBCC.

Upon seeing the hilarity that ­accompanied de Brenni’s announcement, Health Minister Yvette D’Ath decided to tell a joke of her own. If her ministerial colleague could get them rolling in the aisles, then so could she.

Did you hear the one about the ­inquiry into the Queensland health system that will look at everything ­except the state’s health system? You have now.

De Brenni had been trumped.

Health Minister Yvette D'Ath at Queensland Parliament. Picture: NCA NewsWire / John Gass

Minister D’Ath, who had shown previous form as a stand-up comic when she compared Covid infections to getting cancer from passive smoking and complained that federal minister Peter Dutton wouldn’t reply to her texts when she had been messaging the wrong number, had come into her own.

Deputy Premier Steven Miles could only watch as the title of chief government joker and clown prince was snatched from his grasp.

He fought back, accusing his ­favourite bogey man Scott Morrison of attacking Queenslanders and their vaccination efforts, but it was an old joke and we’d heard it all before.

Minister D’Ath carried the day, but should not be tempted to rest on her laurels – for a week is a long time in politics. Who knows what the team of comedians who write the Deputy Premier’s lines are working on to ­ensure that he regains his title?

Why is it that our elected representatives believe that they can get away with treating the electorate with apparent contempt?

The obvious answer is that they believe us to be so stupid that we believe what we are told and that we happily accept that lame duck inquiries into ministerial incompetence and abuse of power represent good government. Perhaps they think that we don’t really care and that battered by two years of pandemic scaremongering, we just want to get on with our lives.

Maybe they think that because they have been able to get away with shielding their actions beneath a shroud of secrecy by claiming commercial in confidence, by reducing Right to Information searches into a farce and imposing secrecy by decree as in the case of the deliberations of the Olympic committee, that they can do whatever they like and that mugs like us will just cop it.

When the entire parliament collapses into a giggling heap when a minister announces – smirk, snicker – an inquiry, then we have a serious problem. It means the process of government has become a joke, one born of arrogance, an intellectual and moral vacuum and a disorganised and ineffective Opposition.

How many ministers, I wonder, could look into a mirror and tell themselves they have been true to their swornoath “to well and truly serve the people of Queensland and faithfully perform the duties and responsibilities of a member of the Legislative Assembly to the best of my ability and according to law. So help me God!”