Opinion: $200m Wellcamp white elephant could be prison or theme park

They built the $200 million Wellcamp quarantine hub, but it looks like no one will come, writes Mike O’Connor. VOTE IN OUR POLL

It was in 1989 that while wandering in an Iowa cornfield in the movie Field of Dreams, actor Kevin Costner’s character heard a voice that told him that “if you build it, they will come”, the “it” being a baseball field.

Is it possible that while wandering one day in a Toowoomba paddock, Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk heard that same voice? Build it and they will come, it whispered. Perhaps it was divine intervention as when the Lord said to Noah, “Build it and they will come,” the “it” in this case being the ark.

Is Kevin Costner or the Almighty responsible for our $200 million Wellcamp quarantine facility – or Queensland Regional Accommodation Centre, to accord it its full and glorious title – or is it solely down to the inspired genius of the Premier and her merry band?

If it was the Almighty, then he was having an off day for we built it and they never came.

They were never coming, of course, the entire harebrained scheme a costly “commercial in confidence” political exercise fuelled by an intellectual vacuum, rampant egotism and poor judgment cloaked in secrecy to hide what has been a massive waste of public funds.

“Queensland’s first purpose-built accommodation centre. It is an investment in keeping Queenslanders safe and supporting our economic recovery,” crows a government website.

How reassuring it is to know the ­recovery is in such capable hands.

The Queensland Regional Accommodation Centre at Wellcamp near Toowoomba

So what to do with Palaszczuk’s Folly? We could, perhaps, turn it into a theme park called Labor Land, replete with larger-than-life models of our ­political heroes mouthing some of their more memorable public pronouncements.

We could have State Development Minister Steven Miles claiming he stuttered when using the C-word to describe Scott Morrison or revealing that Morrison wanted to give Queenslanders the Delta virus for Christmas.

The Premier could mouth, “I’m keeping Queenslanders safe,” and “Queensland hospitals are for Queenslanders.”

People, surely, would line up to hear Health Minister Yvette D’Ath blame the Federal Government for everything from mad cow disease to the bubonic plague, while former chief health officer and governor-in-waiting Jeannette Young could warn us that she was ­“worried, very worried” as Covid cases spiralled out of control from 10 to 12.

Perhaps the facility could become a holiday camp for Queenslanders (southerners need not apply) with a lottery held to see which lucky families would win a free week’s vacation at Camp Palaszczuk.

It may not be the Maldives, but Toowoomba is only a brisk 15km stroll down the highway and if you’re really lucky, you and the kids might see snow as you shiver through a Darling Downs winter. I’m Dreaming of a White Wellcamp. Lovely!

Our prisons are notoriously overcrowded, so perhaps Wellcamp could become a jail. Just add some towers and several kilometres of razor wire and presto!

How about some water slides, gut-churning rides and overpriced food outlets. Welcome to Wellcamp World.

John Wagner with Annastacia Palaszczuk and Steven Miles at the hub in February

Given that it was such an inspired idea, it would be a good thing if all members of state cabinet spent some nights there over the next few months to experience just what it is you get for $200 million of somebody else’s money, savour the delights of Camp Wellcamp and ponder just what to do with one of the largest white elephants in captivity.

Kevin Costner turned his cornfield into a place where dreams came true and Noah kickstarted the cruise industry (pets allowed but a limit of two per species), but there will be no happy ­ending for the sad and sorry tale of Wellcamp, which stands as a monument to government ineptitude.

As no one is denying the $200 million figure spent in the vainglorious pursuit of Project Wellcamp, we can only presume it is higher.

When the Premier announced her plan to build it, she was asked whether the Prime Minister knew of the scheme. “Well, he knows now,” she smirked. I wonder who is smirking now.

The Opposition has said that the money could have been spent to alleviate the chronic shortfalls in our hospital system that are beginning to undermine public confidence in the triple-0 emergency hotline.

What is equally worrying is that there is no acknowledgment that this scheme was ill-considered, just the usual dismissive wave of the hand, a ­refusal to reveal the real cost and the ­arrogant inference that it’s really none of our business.