Mike O’Connor: As Australia Day looms, ask why people accepted into this country repay us by bringing their hatred of others?

We’re smart enough to make up our own minds on how to celebrate our national day without any sermonising from the boardroom, writes Mike O’Connor.

Woolworths has dumped its Australia Day merchandise range, the company has confirmed. Picture: NCA NewsWire/Roy VanDerVegt

It was the mention of thongs in the Woolies Aussie Thong Debate that made me wonder if my late mother had been less than honest with me regarding my birthright.

Was it possible that I wasn’t really an Australian after all but had been left on the doorstep by a wandering tribe of gypsies and adopted by her and my father?

The thing is I’ve never been able to wear thongs.

Give me a pair and I’ll take 10 paces and fall to the ground in a tangle of ankles and arms.

When I was younger, my mates would sprint to the pub in their thongs on a Saturday afternoon, leaving me and my thongs flapping in their wake.

By the time I got to the bar – flip-flap-flop-stumble-flap-flop-stumble – they were on their third schooner.

Woolworths has dumped its Australia Day merchandise range, the company has confirmed. Picture: NCA NewsWire/Roy VanDerVegt

How could I be a true-blue Aussie, I wondered, if I couldn’t wear thongs, cruelly deprived of the opportunity to display my patriotism by wearing thongs emblazoned with the flag on Australia Day.

Thanks to Woolworths’ decision to cease selling Aussie flag thongs on Australia Day, I will no longer be taunted by their red, white and blue displays as I wander the supermarket aisles.

In my defence, thongless though I be, I’d like to think that I am possessed of a few characteristics that mark me as Australian.

There’s my dislike of being preached to by overpaid corporate executives, who, surrounded by head-nodding sycophants, believe that they can lecture us on social issues.

Airlines should focus on getting people safely from A to B on time and grocers focus on keeping their shelves stocked with reasonably priced groceries and leave the rest for us to figure out.

We’re smart enough to make up our own minds without any urging or sermonising from the boardroom.

There’s my dislike of hypocrisy like that displayed by people who say they can’t possibly take a holiday on Australia Day because that would be celebrating an invasion, but who’ll happily take another day off instead.

Bella Nilsson and Adrian Fowler with Australia Day products. Picture: Dylan Robinson

If they were told that there were no other days off on offer and it was a case of take it or lose it, how many would turn up for work?

Not many, I suspect, their faux outrage collapsing along with their bodies on to the couch as they reach for the TV remote.

I’ve no time for people who are accepted into this country and then repay our generosity of spirit in welcoming them by bringing their narrow-minded hatred of others and divisiveness with them.

Then there are those whose idea of equality is to be treated preferentially to everyone else by virtue of their race and skin colour and those whose concept of inclusiveness is to exclude the best person for the job from getting it because they are not the right sex.

How about the inclusiveness and equality that sees large tracts of the country declared no-go areas for non-Indigenous Australians who are banned from enjoying their natural beauty because they are not of the right race?

Mike O’Connor wondered how he could be a true-blue Aussie if he couldn’t wear thongs, deprived of the opportunity to display his patriotism by wearing thongs emblazoned with the flag on Australia Day.

I’d like to think that I really am an Australian because I feel a great warmth towards those people who migrate to this country and who will happily tell anyone who will listen that they are the proud citizens of one of the greatest democracies in the world.

I’ve a grave distrust of politicians who have never worked in a real job in their lives and who spend their days telling us what a great job they are doing while blaming the nation’s problems on whoever it was who warmed their cosy seat before them.

They love to claim they have a mandate.

Really? The reality is that for the most part, they were elected because we disliked them marginally less than we disliked the other mob.

There are moments in life that stay with you, indelibly etched into your memory.

I had one last year as I stood on a beach on a perfect summer’s day and, with hundreds of others, watched a dog surfboard riding contest, dogs perched on their owner’s shoulders or sitting, tails wagging, on the nose of the board as they rode the wave to shore.

Smiling mums, dads, kids, dogs, beach, sun, surf – it was quintessentially Australian and encapsulated the good fortune that is ours to enjoy in this country.

No prizes for guessing that I’ll celebrate Australia Day.

I might even slip down to Coles, buy a pair of Aussie flag thongs and string them around my waist as I throw another snag on the barbie.