Matthew Condon: These are the things Brisbane really needs

BRISBANE residents have responded to a survey asking what they wanted to see in their city and the results ranged from predictable to the outright bizarre, writes Matthew Condon. JOIN THE CONVERSATION

TODAY our fearless leader, the Lord Mayor of Brisbane Graham Quirk, will offer his annual State of the City address.

This event, to be held at the Royal International Convention Centre at the Brisbane Showgrounds in Bowen Hills, will see Lord Mayor Quirk offer his vision for Brisbane over the next 12 months.

Your say: What Brisbane needs

Clocks will stop around town and the CBD will fall silent as the populace tremulously awaits the mayor’s predictions for the River City at a shindig not necessarily aimed at we common folk – tickets range from $150 to a table of 10 for $1850.

Still, every city deserves healthy debate about its future, as was reflected in a recent Brisbane Development Association: The Committee for Brisbane Liveability Survey. It asked residents what they wanted to see in their city and the results ranged from predictable to the outright bizarre.

Yes, Brisbane used to have its very own light-rail system. This is Queen Street in the heart of the CBD in 1914. Picture: John Oxley Library, State Library of Queensland

Many wanted a light rail network, harking back to the glory days of Brisbane’s trams, snuffed out by mayor Clem Jones in 1969.

Others wanted leafier streets.

Several survey respondents also complained that the Brisbane River was too brown.

Hear, hear! Let’s hope mayor Quirk addresses this vexing issue in his oration.

It should be noted though, that there was no money allocated for changing the colour of the Brisbane River in the recent Brisbane City Council’s $3.1 billion budget.

(Given the soaring price of our council rates, why shouldn’t we demand a pink or orange river if we want it?)

Others surveyed said they wanted “a dress code for Uber drivers”, water bottle refill stations and more fountains. One person said they wanted more “happy people” in the city. And another reportedly wanted a Haigh’s chocolate shop.

Why won’t Lord Mayor Quirk tackle these crucial, though complex, issues on behalf of his citizens?

The Brisbane River is beautiful but would be so much better if it was dyed a different colour, don’t you think? Picture: Supplied

Surely, with a multibillion-dollar budget to play with, he could shoehorn a few thousand “happy people” into the populace for the sake of our collective mental health.

Where do you find “happy people” to import? Who knows, but as our elected official it is Mayor Quirk’s job to find out.

According to the World Happiness Report, the happiest country in the world is Norway.

What would it take for Quirk to make a quick phone call to Erna Solberg, the Prime Minister of Norway, and try and work something out?

Norwegians may eat a lot of boiled mutton, seagull eggs, whole sheep heads and cod’s liver, but surely we could make these jolly new residents feel at home in the River City.

And what about Haigh’s?

Come on Haigh’s, it’s time to share the love and move to Brisbane!

How can Quirk even approach the rostrum today and address the future of Brisbane knowing full well that there are seven Haigh’s chocolate shops in Victoria, six in South Australia, and three in NSW?

There’s even a Haigh’s in Canberra, for crying out loud.

The recent survey was a continuation of an age-old debate in Brisbane. Who are we? How do we stack up against other capitals?

Newspaper archives stretching back a century are littered with reports of international visitors attesting that Brisbane was the “best city” in Australia and that it was guaranteed a bright future.

One respondent declared that they wanted “fewer bogans” in Brisbane. Could we swap them for Norwegians?

Lord Mayor Quirk, over to you.