Lucy Carne: Oh, FFS. Swearing has become an accepted part of life

Bob Hawke says “silly old bugger” and the nation is outraged, but Steve Miles (accidentally) drops the C-bomb and all it induces is an eye-roll from the public, writes Lucy Carne.

“MUMMY, what’s the worst swear word ever?” my small child recently asked.

For the briefest moment I debated telling her.

According to new age, respectful parenting advice, if you are to successfully raise a promising global citizen, you must treat your child as an independent adult.

Never shield them from the truth, no matter the severity or, in this case, the obscenity.

“Stupid,” I replied. “Stupid is one of the worst words you can call someone and no one should ever call you stupid. You should never use that word.”

Ivy Smith, 2, of Christchurch who went viral on TikTok when her mother Sophie Smith captured her saying there was a "f***ing goat" in their garden. Picture: TikTok/ivyandsophiesmith

My daughter nodded sagely.

That afternoon when my husband branded the TV remote with batteries on the blink a “stupid thing” she gave him a stern telling off.

He looked at me confused.

I later heard her lecturing the boy from over the back fence about the dangers of the “really worst swear word ever in the whole world”. They then practised whispering “stupid” for 20 minutes.

Suddenly, everything was “stupid” — her brothers, baths, broccoli. She brazenly dropped it into conversation as often as she could. I’d created a mini monster.

Inadvertently teaching your children bad language is a reality of parenting.

Unless you’re pure of tongue like my friend from the US state of Georgia who only uses “shoot dang” and “dagnabbit”, no matter how hard you try, these mini sponges somehow absorb your accidental profanities.

New Zealand mum Sophie Smith learnt this vital parenting lesson last week when her two-year-old daughter Ivy went viral.

The toddler, standing on a toy oven, peers out the window and announces that there is a “f***ing goat” in their Christchurch garden.

“It’s just a goat,” Ms Smith tells her daughter.

But the incredulous toddler corrects her mum with: “No. It’s a f***ing goat.”

The video has been viewed 6.5 million times on TikTok in just under a week.

Despite some nasty criticism that she should physically beat her child or wash her mouth out with soap, Ms Smith said she was amazed by the positive response to her daughter’s rare use of the f-word.

The joy gained from seeing a toddler swear is confirmation of our steady normalisation of profane language.

Queensland Deputy Premier Steven Miles called Prime Minister Scott Morrison “a c*** — contrast” on stage at the Labour Day March in Brisbane. Picture: Liam Kidston

But while the public is more accepting of swear words, as Amanda Laugesen writes in her 2020 book Rooted: “There are still plenty of words we find offensive as a society, with greater levels of tolerance for using these words depending on who you are, your cultural and religious sensibilities and background, and the social and other groups that you identify with and belong to.”

Yet, it seems our acceptance of the c-word has likewise relaxed, judging by the response to Queensland Deputy Premier Steven Miles’s ‘accidental’ use of it to describe Prime Minister Scott Morrison.

“What a c*** — contrast,” Miles told a Labour Day rally earlier this month.

Even if he didn’t mean it, as he insists, you can’t help but presume he has probably used the word to others in private. It was right on the tip of his tongue.

But what would have shocked our nation to the core, now induces an eye-roll from the public.

Times have certainly moved on from the upset over Bob Hawke calling someone a “silly old bugger” or the arrest by two police officers of actor Norman Staines in Brisbane in 1969 after he said “f***ing” onstage in a play.

Even though foul language may still be a legislated offence, the c-word has crept into the commonplace courtesy of not just a politician, but TV shows like Married At First Sight, the Bachelor and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

At this rate, it’s a miracle more kids aren’t blaspheming. No matter how hard parents may try to protect their children, they are drawn to swear words, not only because of the danger of reprimands, but because they’ve become so accepted and common.

As for my sweet daughter who I assumed I had shielded from the realities of profanity?

We were in the garden and she needed a ‘bush wee’ but was struggling to remove her pants.

Panicking, she hollered at me (and the neighbourhood): “How do I get these f***ing shorts off?”

With equal parts shock and pride at her correct use of the word, I realised who was stupid for ever thinking I could stop swearing: me.