Why Marie Kondo gave up on keeping her house tidy

She was the neat freak who spawned a multimillion-dollar empire with her decluttering philosophy. Then along came kids.

Marie Kondo, the self-appointed “tidying expert”, has revealed she no longer obsesses about mess.

She’s “given up”, instead prioritising time with her children over domestic perfectionism.

Finally!

You can almost hear the collective hooray of millions of parents who’ve struggled – and failed – to keep their homes pristine as pesky children get in the way.

Of people who’ve been shamed into purging their dwellings of anything that does not “spark joy” and are now left staring at blank spaces devoid of personality.

Of people who have been led to believe that “stuff” is the killer of contentment.

Kondo has made a fortune – and TIME magazine’s top 100 most influential people list – out of telling anyone who would listen how to be neat.

But her latest revelation – that a messy home is OK – is a bit awkward because it clashes with the release of her latest book, The Marie Kondo Tidying Companion.

The promotional blurb says the book offers “clear diagrams for folding and storing, example lists and charts, and space for you to fill in your personal plan, this is the book you need to tidy your home – and keep it the way you love – forever”.

Is Kondo no longer walking the talk?

Do we sniff a room spray called Disingenuity?

The 38-year-old Japanese author, who started her tidying consultancy as a 19-year-old university student in Tokyo, has become a household name following her 2011 book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which has sold more than 13 million copies in 44 languages.

She patented the KonMari Method, designed to banish clutter based on the criterion of ditching anything that doesn’t bring joy, and her Netflix show Tidying Up With Marie Kondo has earned multiple award nominations.

She has created a juggernaut of a business, and good on her.

If people didn’t like what she was selling, that wouldn’t have happened.

But parenthood has put the kybosh on Kondo’s perfectionist streak.

“My home is messy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time, at this stage of my life,” Kondo said through an interpreter at a recent media webinar and reported in The Washington Post.

“Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times.

“I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realise what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.”

Marie Kondo has backtracked on her tidiness mantra.

Almost immediately, Kondo was lambasted over the unexpected backflip.

People took to Twitter to vent, including Canadian filmmaker Sarah Polley, who said Kondo owed an official apology to people she “influenced to make our clothes into little envelopes while we HAD three kids”. (Polley has since deleted the tweet and said the remark was made in jest.)

Others have come out in support of Kondo, and this seems fair enough.

When Kondo entered our orbit, she was not a parent.

How could she have known the chaos that kids bring to cherished routines, clean walls and unmarked carpets?

I’ve lived in Japan and, at the risk of generalising, can attest to the Japanese penchant for order.

It speaks to why the traditional tea ceremony is performed in a set sequence of steps and why, when I was studying the art of calligraphy, my teacher insisted brushstrokes be done in a numbered way.

So I’m not surprised by Kondo’s success or what inspired her initial vision.

But people are allowed to evolve, to replace outmoded ideas with new ones as their lives shapeshift.

To refuse to change predicates being stuck in a rut.

It was after the 2021 birth of her son that Los Angeles-based Kondo first showed signs of struggling with her fixation on tidiness.

On her website she wrote: “Just after my older daughter was born, I felt unable to forgive myself for not being able to manage my life as I had before.

“But, with time, I eased up on myself; then, after I gave birth to my second daughter, I let go of my need for perfection altogether.

“I am busier than ever after having my third child, so I have grown to accept that I cannot tidy every day – and that is OK!”

If there are lessons in
Marie Kondo’s about-face it is that, indeed, life can be messy, the pursuit of perfection is futile (whether or not you have kids), and that cutting yourself some slack is always in vogue.

What brought us joy yesterday might not bring us joy today – and tomorrow’s joy remains up for grabs.

Kylie Lang is associate editor of The Courier-Mail

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LOATHE

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