Kylie Lang: Matthew Perry’s legacy is beyond Friends

Addiction doesn’t discriminate and should never be a source of shame. The tragic death of Matthew Perry is proof of this, writes Kylie Lang.

Addiction doesn’t discriminate – as the tragic death of American actor Matthew Perry illustrates – and it should never be a source of shame.

The Friends star, who died last weekend at age 54, had an estimated wealth of $188 million. He lived in a mansion but could as well have lived on the streets or in a modest house in the burbs. It’s just geography.

The news this week has been saturated with tributes to the actor – who was drug and alcohol addled for many of the sitcom’s 236 episodes – with peers honouring his talent.

Chandler Bing was arguably the standout on the long-running show that also starred Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow and Matt LeBlanc.

Friends star Matthew Perry died at the weekend aged 54. Picture: Chris Delmas/AFP

But while Warner Bros earns a reported $1.6 billion a year from re-runs – and each of the lead actors around $32 million – Perry’s net worth is more than money.

As actor Eric Lange wrote on X (formerly Twitter): “Yes, he was Chandler. But I hope what Matthew Perry will be remembered for most is that he used his platform to share his struggles with the world in the hopes it might help others. It helped me.”

Perry’s resilience, even when he felt he couldn’t win, and his willingness to expose what many people go to pains to conceal, are his real legacy.

In his 2022 memoir Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing, Perry laid bare his decades-long battle with booze and opioids.

The last picture posted to Matthew Perry's Instagram account.

It included one recent year that was dogged by pneumonia, an exploded colon, a coma, a colostomy bag, being put on life support and undergoing a dozen stomach surgeries.

Perry wrote of bouncing in and out of rehab and how he would swap places with anyone “in a minute, and forever, if only I could not be who I am, the way I am, bound on this wheel of fire. They don’t have a brain that wants them dead.”

It’s hardly surprising the memoir is back on bestseller lists this week, and long may this continue, because the messages it contains can potentially help others. Relapses, according to the experts, are typically part of the recovery process, and should not be viewed as failures.

William Moyes, from addiction treatment centre Hazelden Betty Ford, told the Los Angeles Times: “His life showed the worst of this illness and the best hopes for our ability to overcome it. Regardless of what his cause of death is, he kept fighting and fell and got back up, and was never ashamed to share that truth.”

Alcohol and substance abuse is widespread and worsening.

In Australia, according to the latest National Drug Strategy Household Survey, around 2.6 million people had an addiction to drugs or alcohol in 2020. This was a jump of 25 per cent since 2017.

Pandemic pressures have since compounded the problem.

Matthew Perry with his Friends co-stars David Schwimmer and Matt Leblanc. Picture: Chris Delmas/AFP

Consumption of alcohol increased during lockdowns, and the fallout from Covid and escalating cost of living pressures mean stress is now a constant for an increasing number of us. New research conducted this month by PureProfile for The Banyans Healthcare in Brisbane, reveals one in five people drink more when stressed.

Ruth Limkin, CEO of the healthcare group, said people could easily get locked into unhealthy coping strategies, using alcohol and drugs to “self-medicate”.

“When people take proactive steps to address their wellbeing and build their emotional capacity to manage the inevitable stressors of life, they
are able to build resilience,” Ms Limkin said.

From the tributes flowing for Matthew Perry, and from his own words, we can glean that he was a fighter. Perry reportedly spent $14 million trying to get sober over the years, and said in an interview in November the message of his memoir was “don’t give up” and “get help”.

The passing of Perry has shone
a light on the agonising struggles
of addicts.

There is a misconception that these people are invariably weak, self-indulgent and don’t try hard enough to be, and stay, sober.

But recovery is a journey, and not everyone makes it to the end, despite their best efforts and those of their loved ones.

Perry’s role in trying to destigmatise addiction is one he fulfilled with distinction.

In his final interview, he said: “I want people to understand that they’re not alone, that there are people feeling exactly the way they’re feeling, that their behaviour is not insane, that they have a disease, and it’s not their fault.”