Koala descendants from the Goss war rising up to defeat QSAC
Sane humans and koalas are set to join forces to defeat the ridiculous thought bubble that is revamping QSAC, writes Dan Petrie. And they’re promising a terrible revenge.
Opinion
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The great grand joeys (koala ones) of the Goss four-lane highway wars of the 1995 election are mobilising against a new Labor leader in an attempt to stop the ridiculous thought bubble that is revamping the truly terrible Queensland Sport and Athletics Centre (QSAC) at Nathan.
For survivors of athletics carnivals and those still angry at themselves for watching the Broncos at said venue in the 1990s, a more accurate and updated acronym is Queensland’s Squalid and Awful Chamber Pot (QSAC).
Once more, sane humans and koalas are set to join forces to defeat this madness.
Yes, Steven Miles, the koalas are coming and like the Gods of Olympus who exiled Ulysses from Ithaca after he blinded the cyclops, are promising a terrible revenge.
I am not sure if there is a koala king but can imagine the leading koala in an almost Poseidon-like rage demanding an end to such madness.
“Miles! You defy the koalas? We sentence the Labor party to travel the electoral wilderness and until you find the Kingdom of Commonsense, your comrades will remain as lifeless as stone!”
For fans of the 1980s Ulysses cartoon, that quote is for you!
Following former Lord Mayor, Graham Quirk’s 60-day review and the decision of Premier Miles to blindly follow former AOC president John Coates’ suggestion to rehabilitate the athletics track at Nathan, it is time for survivors of QE2 to speak out.
For readers, I know the pain of being superglued to aluminium stands of QE2 at Nathan, flushed-up hard against suburbia with little covering.
There is of course the pain suffered by my then teenage relay teammates, forced to watch this writer anchor the final leg of 4 x 400m at a warm-up meet before GPS athletics (it is a minor detail but I didn’t make the team).
In the 30 years since the koala army rose up to almost defeat a Labor government and while Gladstone independent Liz Cunningham eventually humbled the Goss government, it was the koalas that landed the real electoral blows.
To be frank, QE2 is an eyesore so bad, there are rows of condemned houses that are more attractive and anyone who has endured this stadium, the mental scars are hard to erase.
This aluminium wonder was constructed in 1975 and built on the tears of the innocent.
With no transport links, a refurbishment bill that makes no economic sense and located nowhere near the CBD of Brisbane, every Queenslander along with our koala friends knows this idea makes no sense whatsoever.
Modern stadiums tend to be surrounded by green space (which is why the Gabba was a dud) and connected by a train line.
The Victoria Park option while not perfect is probably the best available and one which will leave a legacy.
Alan Patching, the project director of the Sydney Olympic stadium and the Suncorp Stadium, told The Courier-Mail that the decision to look at the Nathan is nothing more than political.
“The Government’s preference for Nathan smacks of either Graham Quirk’s 60-day review having the primary objective of buying time for the new Premier to position himself, or of a kneejerk political reaction made with the election in clear sight and the need to secure electoral preferences.”
It is a terrible place to view sports and located nowhere near anything remotely interesting and if we are being honest, Brisbane does have a way to go on that front.
Does anyone seriously think this is a good idea?
No athlete in their right mind after training their entire life will be satisfied with a beer and schnitzel at the local boozer when the trip into the central business district is simply too long.
It is a massively stupid proposal to throw out there and if the Premier is being honest should ask the voters what they think.
The response will be more than a koala can bear and something the Gods of the Olympus would show some mercy on if it was junked as soon as possible!
Dan Petrie is a data journalist with News Corp, a former lower grade rugby player, division four tennis champion with the Fancutt Phantoms and a sports fan
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