Hypocrisy is not on trial, the behaviour of men is

As a sexual assault survivor, watching Scott Morrison squander a powerful moment by weaponising a woman’s ‘harassment’ complaint was profoundly disappointing, writes Clare Armstrong.

I was first sexually harassed when I was 11 years old.

On a weekend holiday at a beach house away from my own family, but in the care of trusted friends, I spent the trip hiding from the nine-year-old son of one member of the household who repeatedly tried to shove his hands down my pants.

I couldn’t sit still all weekend for fear of his approach, and I can vividly recall having to leap up whenever he came into the room and stand against a wall – so I’d only be fighting him off on one front.

That experience has since faded into many more years of what Prime Minister Scott Morrison aptly described this week as the “crap” women in this country endure daily.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison during a press conference at Parliament House Canberra. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Gary Ramage

When I was 17, I was harassed anonymously by a boy in my social circle who sent me creepy secret admirer text messages. At the time I was “reassured” by some people who knew him, I was simply “too intimidating” for him to approach me in person.

A year later, I had to sit down with my parents and deliver them the heartbreaking news that like one in six women in Australia, I had been sexually assaulted.

This context is important, not because it makes me exceptional. But because it is just so very normal.

For one glimmering moment, where only metres away from me Mr Morrison started tearing up, it felt like he had heard us.

And he’s right, he does have a “deeply vested” interest in all of this. Because I don’t want Mr Morrison’s daughters to experience even a fraction of what I have.

Which is why his snap decision to weaponise a private, unrelated media issue at a press conference on Tuesday was so disappointing.

There are many people in parliament who argue a power imbalance between an MP and a staffer isn’t as bad as a rape, or that the response to a bunch of guys wanking on a desk should not be stronger than one to an alleged assault.

It was this path Mr Morrison chose when he decided to air a private matter as a “defence” proving no workplace is perfect.

Brittany Higgins at the Canberra Womens March 4 Justice where women rallied demanding action against sexism and gendered violence. Picture: Getty

Women around the country joined the March4Justice after a wave of allegations of sexual assault, centred on Australia’s parliament.

All of this fails to recognise that hypocrisy is not on trial here, the behaviour of men is.

If you turn down an advance from a male colleague and no longer feel comfortable in a meeting room with them, or are no longer even invited into that room, it is not up to others to tell you where your experience fits on the scale of “crap” to “horrific”.

Men who use “what-about-ism” to defend or diminish the poor behaviour are, frankly, blinkered by the laughable suggestion this whole issue is about you.

It’s absolutely because of you, but it’s actually about us. It’s about women taking back their workplaces, girls taking back their classrooms, our homes, our nights, our ability to move through the community free from harassment, intimidation or worse.

If you haven’t heard that women are scared to come forward because they’re worried about confidentiality, job security, gossip in the halls, or becoming a public martyr for a private matter …

If you haven’t heard that, then you haven’t really been listening.

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Originally published as Hypocrisy is not on trial, the behaviour of men is