NSW mum opens up on the horror of watching her daughters descend into ice addiction

When mum Tammie-Lea Ellem took these photos of her now grown up “babies”, she had no way of knowing both would later become addicted to the drug ice. She reveals her story and is calling on the government to help families in distress.

IT is a nightmare for a parent to watch their child sucked into the misery of ice addiction – imagine then the ­anguish of Tammie-Lea Ellem, who has had to face such horror twice.

The Sanctuary Point woman’s two daughters are addicted to ice.

“The journey of seeing my kids go down this path is ­absolutely heartbreaking,” she said.

“There have been knives to the throat, threats to stab the entire family; I’ve been punched and kicked, had holes punished in the walls.  

“This very slow, horrible journey of watching them sink deeper and deeper into this is so tortuous.”

Ms Ellem has agreed to speak out to highlight the need for better resources not just for people struggling with ice addiction but their ­families who are on a “very lonely ride”.

She is calling on the NSW Government to commit to helping families devastated by ice and start acting on the recommendations from the Ice Inquiry.

Sanctuary Point mum Tammie-Lea Ellem says her children slipped into ice addiction after a traumatic childhood.

She says the desperate shortage of rehabilitation centres is ruining lives and needs to be addressed ­immediately.

“You feel so helpless and there are no resources, I’ve had to learn how to get resilient,” she said.

“I could have gone under with it. I’m consumed with it, always thinking: ‘Are they safe? What are they doing, are they using?’ Waiting for that knock on the door.”

Ms Ellem believes her daughters’ downward spiral is the result of childhood trauma.

Their father struggled with drugs and alcohol and suicided while they hid from him in a refuge.

“They have gone through severe trauma, like most ­people who struggle with ­addiction. And it’s another stab in the heart for these poor kids who then have to face the stigma of being ­addicted to drugs,” she said.  

Ms Ellem said there was a misconception that drug ­addicts didn’t come from loving, supportive families.

Ms Ellem’s daughters are trying to get clean.

Ms Ellem says anyone’s children can fall prey to ice addiction.

She first noticed one of her daughters struggling at age 13.

“She was staying out drinking and smoking pot. I would call the police, they couldn’t do anything even though she was under 18 – they were not allowed to forcibly detain a child and bring them home, only check that they are safe. I would run myself into the ground trying to find her. I would sit outside her bedroom door so she couldn’t go out and she would climb out the window.”

The 13-year-old paved the way for Ms Ellem’s other daughter to slide into ­addiction.

The mum of six also ­believes genetics played a part, knowing both sides of the family had addictive tendencies.

The girls are now young adults. They are trying hard to get clean.

When they hit bumps in their road Ms Ellem calls it a “lapse”, not a ­“relapse”.

This mother has learned tools to help her with resilience, taking each day one at a time and focusing on the good days with her daughters.

She wants to help other mothers in her position by holding a support group in Nowra and is in the process of setting up a counselling ­service.

“Everyone I love is addic­ted in one way or ­another,” she said.

“I think part of my life ­purpose is to help other ­people with it.”

Originally published as NSW mum opens up on the horror of watching her daughters descend into ice addiction