Let Them Be Kids: Bullies who killed Jess were never punished

Jess Tolhurst could not avoid her tormentors, but because their evil didn’t break social media ‘community standards’, they were never punished over her death.

Jess Tolhurst didn’t stand a chance.

Teachers tried to keep her away from the bullies at school, her parents kept her safe at home, but no one could keep her tormentors from bombarding her online, from infiltrating her thoughts, from breaking her spirit.

Jess took her own life only weeks before the Christmas of 2015, the day before her parents were taking her to the nearest police station to secure an apprehended violence order against her abusers.

To this day her mum Melinda Graham just can’t comprehend why more won’t be done to stop online bullying on social media, why governments won’t take strong action, make a stand and stop other children going through the hell that destroyed her daughter.

“It was face-to-face, online, every which way, phone calls, all her social media accounts,” Ms Graham said. “Snapchat was the biggest one. I used to say to Jess why don’t you screenshot and she would say: ‘No, I can’t, they will be able to see I’ve done that’.”

Jessica Tolhurst, 14, suicided just before Christmas in 2015 after relentless online bullying. Picture: Supplied

“I still have all the evidence packed away but it was horrible the things they were saying to her and it was relentless. There was one main bully then a lot of followers who then targeted her friends.

“Messages like: ‘Go kill yourself’ and: ‘If you come back to school I will get you’ or calls to: ‘Stomp on Jessy’s head’.”

Melinda Graham says Jess was bullied to death.

Ms Graham said the bullying even continued after Jess passed, with her closest friends also becoming targets.

As a parent, Ms Graham felt helpless.

“You think it’s your own fault, you get told you should have kept your kids off social media but in this day and age that’s a really fine line,” she said.

“On social media were also her really good friends offering her support, at night, in her darkest hours, so yeah there’s a fine line.”

Ms Graham says banning anyone under 16 from social media was definitely a great place to start, sending a message that people younger were not mature enough to use sites ­responsibly.

She also called on the eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant to take bold action and send a message to bullies that they can’t use social media platforms as an instrument for evil.

“Our daughter was bullied to death, that’s the truth of it,” she said.

“And there are no consequences for the bully. You send screenshots to social media platforms and they do nothing about it. It doesn’t go against our community standards, are you kidding me?”

Ms Graham will never give up the fight for Jess and hopes sharing her story might help other parents recognise the warning signs and educate children on the harm that bullying can cause.

Originally published as Let Them Be Kids: Bullies who killed Jess were never punished