Opinion: Forget $5 tax cuts and fuel excise, this is the key to The Lodge

We’re a week into the election campaign and neither leader has realised there are millions of votes out there just waiting to be harvested, writes Mike O’Connor.

You can imagine the conversation that took place between the Prime Minister’s spin merchants and some of the non-journalist “influencers” who were invited to the federal budget preview.

“Oh, I’d love to come. Where is it again?” “Canberra? Oh, I see. Well things are a bit tight at the moment – cost of living and all that, so I couldn’t afford to fly or drive a car there if I had a car which I don’t. Cost of living and all that.”

“And if I could afford to get there, which I can’t, then I’d have to sleep on the street because I can’t afford to stay in a hotel. What with the cost of living and all that.”

“No worries,” says one of Albanese’s media minders. “We’ll pay for your transport and accommodation.”

“A free trip to Canberra! Lovely! I’ll be there. Will there be snacks or should I bring some sandwiches?” And so it has come to pass that “influencers” will be aided and abetted by the Labor Party in covering the election as part of its media strategy, their sole journalistic qualification being the ability to use a mobile phone.

Accusations of cash for comment have been denied by those who received this largesse. What a shame Albo’s good mate Alan Joyce, he of the gold-plated parachute, isn’t still at Qantas. He could have organised free flights for the free loaders and maybe a glass or two of Piper-Heidsieck Cuvée Brut (NV) which I am reliably informed is served in the Chairman’s Lounge so favoured by working-class Albo and, of course, his son.

Labor luminary Paul Keating once remarked that there is no such thing as a free lunch. We will see.

We’re a week into the election campaign and neither leader has realised there are millions of votes out there just waiting to be harvested.

Forget $5 tax cuts and cutting fuel excise. Promise to abolish the tax on cigarettes and the keys to The Lodge are yours.

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, there are almost two million adult smokers in Australia, most of them forced into breaking the law by buying illegally imported cigarettes because thanks to the federal government’s taxes they can’t afford to pay $40 to $50 a pack so they buy the under-the-counter product for as little as $7.

I’m an ex-smoker. Benson and Hedges was my preferred brand, which according to its advertising slogan, was the cigarette you smoked “when only the best would do”. Never let it be said that as a smoker, I didn’t have class.

If I was still addicted I’d be heading off to Slippery Sam’s Corner Store and buying cheap under-the-counter smokes, which on the evidence is what most smokers are doing.

The federal government’s plan to reduce the incidence of smoking and to raise money at the same time was to continue raising taxes on tobacco.

This has been a spectacular failure, which has only led to a sharp increase in the sale of Ferraris, Lamborghinis and gold chains to members of the organised crime syndicates who are making millions of dollars importing and selling cheap cigarettes.

A tobacconist gutted in suspicious circumstances south of Brisbane in January

These people play rough, and barely a day passes without a retail outlet that sells cigarettes being firebombed. Buy your supply of illegal smokes from the wrong party or incur the criminals’ displeasure in some way and “boom!” No one has been killed yet, but it’s a matter of time.

Industry analysis shows there are more than 3000 shops selling illicit tobacco across Australia in what is a $5bn criminal industry.

The Chinese government is doing nicely as a result of Canberra’s idiocy, owning the prosaically titled business Double Happiness, the second leading brand of tobacco consumed in Australia and which is illegal here.

So much for the memorandum of understanding signed by Albanese with the Chinese government to combat illicit tobacco and vape smuggling.

Tobacco excise generated just $9.7bn last financial year, a drop of 40 per cent from 2019-20, and is expected to continue to fall as the illegal market expands.

The government’s response has been to spend more on policing in spite of overwhelming evidence that the battle has been lost and that all it is doing is filling the coffers of criminals who are laughing all the way to lunch.

“Another bottle of Piper-Heidsieck Cuvée Brut (NV) over here will you mate and keep the change”.

Maybe we should get the “influencers’’ on the job. Would a free carton of smokes do the trick?