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Domestic violence: How Cairns victims can get help

There is a dark violent side to the coronavirus pandemic that countless victims live with every day. But help is at hand.

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FOR years Rose kept her abuse private but by tomorrow, on Domestic Violence Remembrance Day she would have taken a stand.

The mother of two boys has spoken out against domestic violence despite the fear her husband would extract revenge.

“Men need to know what is happening to teach their children it isn’t right,” Rose, not her real name, said.

“My (estranged) husband has strangled me, suffocated me and punched me in the face. He did this every time he had an affair.”

The man who subjected her to years of abuse was also allegedly a heavy drug user and addicted to pornography.

“He was always watching it on his phone,” Rose said.

“Every time I confronted him, he beat me up.”

"Rose", a mum and domestic violence survivor
"Rose", a mum and domestic violence survivor

The correlation between pornography and domestic violence has been researched for nearly a decade.

Rose lived it first hand and said there was a “definite” link between her husband’s porn addiction and the horrific violence she was subjected to.

“It can happen to anybody, be it in Cairns, Port Douglas, or Sydney,” Rose said.

During the coronavirus lockdown pornography use skyrocketed. For those in lockdown with abusive husbands, the implications are dire.

Cairns Regional Domestic Violence Service CEO Amanda Lee-Ross said the pandemic had trapped victims with abusive partners.

“There is more opportunity to perpetrate the violence,” Ms Lee-Ross said. “We are talking about particular COVID related abuse; the perpetrator will say they are bringing home someone who has the virus or not allow their victims to use hand sanitiser.”

Amanda Lee-Ross, CEO of Cairns Regional Domestic Violence Service. PICTURE: STEWART McLEAN
Amanda Lee-Ross, CEO of Cairns Regional Domestic Violence Service. PICTURE: STEWART McLEAN

Ms Lee-Ross has reassured survivors that services were deemed essential during the pandemic and were still fully operational.

“Because of the lockdown it is hard for people to report it,” Ms Lee-Ross said.

“The phone lines are seeing a decrease in calls but what we are seeing is people are making more use of websites and leaving private messages on Facebook.

“If you are in isolation you don’t have to stay in the home with an abusive person.”

At least Rose has the comfort that her sons are headed in the right direction.

“I have kept a very careful eye on my boys and I trust their behaviour with women,” she said. “They are absolutely devastated as to what has happened to me and what their stepfather has done to me.”

Visit Cairns Regional Domestic Violence Service at dvcairns.org or call 07 4033 6100.

Originally published as Domestic violence: How Cairns victims can get help

Original URL: https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/national/domestic-violence-how-cairns-victims-can-get-help/news-story/1fa0dfe2d425713a891d3e2ea1ac78e0