Lisa Mayoh: How Sarah Snook’s new thriller nails the ‘mental load’ for mothers
Modern mothers are drowning under the weight of endless life admin and activities, as a new Sarah Snook dark thriller highlights so chillingly, writes Lisa Mayoh.
My mum shudders at the ferocity at which we roar through life. And not just my family. Or yours. Everyone.
We rush from one thing to the next, without taking a breath, sip of coffee or phone call from the friend you were meant to call two days ago.
There’s touch footy (three different games, three different places and times, plus training). There’s tennis and basketball and gym sessions and physio appointments. Dinner to make and dogs to walk. Homework to do and work to finish. Someone’s birthday party, someone’s play date, someone’s Christmas wish list to tick off before Black Friday sales tell you that you’re too late (again). It’s a lot.
I don’t think I’m out of line in saying the majority of the mental load for neverending life admin falls on us women. Am I wrong? My husband will ask three times what time something starts, even though I’ve told him verbally, confirmed by message and it’s in his diary. It’s like a form of torture. Anyone else?
And watching the new Sarah Snook thriller, All Her Fault, on Binge last week cemented just how much lands on our shoulders.
The storyline starts like any of our days might. You go to a school social and meet a mum you could actually be friends with. Win!
You drink wine and share secrets in the bathroom and walk away feeling you may have just been lucky enough to find someone who could be your person in the schoolyard you don’t really fit in to.
A few days later you get a text from her, asking your son for a playdate. Win again!
You say yes and plans are made. Only you arrive at the pick up address she sent, from the number you didn’t have saved in your phone, to find no one by that name lives there.
The number is disconnected.
You track down new friend’s number on the class list you didn’t check (because why would you? She’s your friend!) and call only to find she never sent a message and didn’t organise a playdate.
So where in the hell is your son? Cue terror. Sheer terror. It’s every parent’s worst nightmare. And then comes the mum guilt. Why didn’t I check the number? Why didn’t I call to confirm? Why did I trust a stranger?
It could happen to any of us. We all trust strangers to babysit. We allow new friend playdates. Sleepovers. I’ve had kids stay at my place for three whole nights without so much as a call from their parents to make sure we’re not axe murderers. Strange. So strange.
I guess what it boils down to is … fellas, we’re drowning. Sharing the load, even in the smallest way, is the biggest act of love, so show us how much you do.
An let’s ease off the mum guilt. You’re doing an amazing job – as my mum would say: “Lisa, you don’t have to do everything. Your kids don’t have to do everything. Spend the weekend in your pyjamas.”
Lucky I was taught to listen to my mother.
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Originally published as Lisa Mayoh: How Sarah Snook’s new thriller nails the ‘mental load’ for mothers
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