First off, Darby Henderson wants to address the elephant in the room.

Some questioned why Henderson decided to pull on the boots for Lara this season after Williamstown VFL’s statement in February said the 25-year-old had been “medically retired”.

“After seven years and 54 games in the blue and gold, the tough decision was made for our number 36, Darby Henderson, to medically retire from VFL footy,” the statement read.

“I’ve seen a few comments and that (since the latest incident), obviously you don’t want to look at it, but it’s hard not to,” Henderson told this masthead.

“People saying, ‘Why is he still playing when he’s medically retired’ and all that.

“I wasn’t really ever officially medically retired. That was just a wording that Williamstown Footy Club used, so that’s probably the first thing I want to say.

“I went through a range of specialists and doctors and all that sort of stuff and I left Willy with the blessing that if I wanted to, I could play footy again.”

Henderson had seen a neurosurgeon at the beginning of 2024 and been ticked off, but the Seagulls’ round 15 clash against Gold Coast was his last VFL game after he suffered another concussion.

Williamstown and Henderson went back and forth before an amicable joint decision was made for the forward to retire from VFL football.

“I went to a specialist early last year and then got cleared from that and came back and played nine games at Willy and then unfortunately got another hit, and it was almost like they wanted me to go back to the specialist again,” Henderson said.

“But it just took a real mental toll on me so I was kind of like, ‘I don’t really want to do that’.

“It kind of fizzed out a little bit to a mutual decision that it was probably best if I just didn’t play VFL anymore.

“And nothing against them (Williamstown) either, they were so great.”

The Lara ball-magnet and former Seagull estimates he has suffered anywhere between five and 10 concussions across his playing career, most of which have been minor with no lingering symptoms.

“Even speaking to the specialist last year, it was kind of a thing of, ‘Hang on, we are happy to clear you here because you don’t have prolonged symptoms and they aren’t really bad concussions, they are just cumulative, so it is probably easier for you to get hit and easier for you to get concussed’,” Henderson explained.

“But nothing that has affected me in day-to-day life or anything like that either.”

The latest head knock came after a bump from St Albans’ Bailey Coutts, which was cleared by the AFL Barwon match review panel on Monday.

It has put Henderson’s playing future in doubt given his history, but he is hopeful of returning after he observes the 21-day concussion protocols, with his symptoms subsiding two days after the incident.

“Two days post concussion I’ve just had on the weekend and I’m living a normal life. I’m feeling fine,” Henderson said.

The MRP ruled that both players contributed to the contact in the incident, with Lara requesting an investigation into the finding.

Henderson wants to make abundantly clear that he has no bad blood with Coutts, St Albans or AFL Barwon.

But the helmeted midfielder feels the ruling sets a dangerous precedent and sends the opposite message to the AFL’s strong stance on concussion — the latest example North Melbourne ruckman Tristan Xerri’s three-week ban for a swinging arm which concussed Tom Sparrow.

“I’ve got nothing at all against Bailey on the weekend, he obviously saw something on the ground and he ran forward and unfortunately he concussed me,” Henderson said.

“The direction that the sport is heading in as a whole, I feel like to be able to just bump someone and get away with no consequence is a little bit disappointing.

“I’m saying this for kids that are coming up or players that are coming up that may have similar problems that I have and to feel like they may not be able to play footy and may not be protected, is something that’s a little bit hard for me to swallow.

“No matter who the individual is, no matter the circumstance, I think if you do choose to bump someone and do get it a little bit wrong and someone’s concussed, you probably should wear a few weeks.

“I’ve got nothing against St Albans the club, nothing against Bailey Coutts and nothing against AFL Barwon, I just think that the direction that the AFL is heading in, we should probably be aligned with that.”

A health and PE teacher at Sacred Heart College in Geelong, Henderson wants to ensure that players of the future aren’t put in the same situation, given the consequences long term can be devastating.

“I would hate for it to get down the track where someone does have, or is living with CTE and AFL Barwon are responsible for it because they haven’t made a stance,” Henderson said.

“I just worry that now we’re allowed to bump people in this league and hit them in the head and concuss someone and get away with it.

“And when (the match review panel) said I contributed to the contact, I kind of find that difficult to believe as well. Because I sort of handballed the ball off and then two seconds later, the next thing I know I’m down on the ground concussed. I was just trying to clear the area and run out of the area.

“I’d hate to see a situation where you I have retired and I’m living in Geelong and I’m seeing people getting ironed out and they get away with it.

“So that’s just probably where it sits a little bit uncomfortable with me.”

In a statement, AFL Barwon said: “Player health and wellbeing remains a top priority for AFL Barwon. We welcome the AFL’s new PlayHQ feature to better manage concussion across community football. As a formal independent investigation has been requested, we are unable to make further comment on this incident.”

WAS DARBY TARGETED?

Henderson also came off the ground at the first centre bounce after a tackle from Brock McDonald, which he said was a fair hit.

“I knew it was a solid hit, but I got up and I was like feeling okay. With my history I want to be really careful, so I went to the bench and just kind of sat there for a minute or two and just gathered my thoughts and let my breathing slow down,” Henderson said.

“And then I figured out that I was pretty good to go back out there. So I wouldn’t have thought there were any symptoms or anything from that. So I think that first hit, it did rattle me a little bit, but it was nothing major.”

His father and Lara coach Brett Henderson was of the belief that Darby was targeted, an assertion that St Albans vehemently denied.

But the man himself doesn’t subscribe to that view.

“I don’t really buy into that. I think in the first centre clearance I got hit, but I think that was a pretty fair hit,” Darby said.

“And then I was probably only out there for six or seven more minutes.

“I don’t think Bailey Coutts intentionally tried to knock me out, he might have just been trying to be physical.

“There might have been a little bit of a set plan, but not to try and hurt me and take me out of the game.”

Darby said it is hard to know for sure whether his concussion history played a part in his latest head knock.

“It’s something that I’ve discussed with people around me – not just this time, but last year. Do I get concussed a little bit easier than others?” Darby said.

“I’m not sure, double guess myself with that. But I don’t think there’s really a right or wrong answer to it. It’s a possibility, but don’t particularly think that’s contributed.”

‘OH NO, HERE WE GO AGAIN’

There was a sense of deja vu for Henderson over the past few days.

While the concussion symptoms weren’t severe, the all-too-familiar anxiety set in.

“For me it’s an emotional rollercoaster. It’s like, ‘Oh no, here we go again’,” Henderson said.

“So I feel a bit sorry for my partner my family because in the last few days I’ve been pretty withdrawn and you get anxiety and you don’t really want to leave the house because people ask you how you are going. And a little bit of depression and feelings like that, it’s just a bit of a dark hole to fall back into.

“Mentally it’s really hard. You get a little bit anxious, you go through a little bit of a depressive state because, ‘Oh no, it’s happened again’, and, ‘Why me?’”

Henderson’s concussion rock bottom came this time last year during his final VFL game up on the Gold Coast.

Away from friends and family, Henderson had to accept the ahrsh reality that his VFL career was likely over.

“I remember having a shower underneath People First Stadium and that was a pretty dark moment,” Henderson recalled.

“But I feel like the last couple of days have been pretty close to that as well. It’s pretty disappointing for Saturday to have panned out the way it has.

“I feel like in the last few days I’ve been a little bit off and just haven’t really wanted to engage with a lot of people.

“That’s more my point about in terms of the judgement of AFL Barwon, just holding them accountable because I just don’t want people in future to have to go through what I feel.”

Fortunately, those anxious and depressive states are short-lived for Henderson, with those feelings subsiding seemingly linked to the concussion symptoms.

“That’s probably one of the reasons why I am continuing to play footy, because I haven’t noticed any difference within myself,” Henderson said.

“I’ve probably been the happiest I’ve been forever in the last 12 months. So that’s probably a little bit hard to understand for me, and keep me coming back for more, I guess.”

Henderson has remained in correspondence with concussion expert Alan Pearce since he underwent tests with him in 2023 and his results have remained consistent.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE

The other elephant in the room remains: is Henderson’s football career over?

“I’d like to think not. The thing that keeps me coming back is I don’t have prolonged symptoms, I’m not knocked out unconscious, so it kind of keeps me in a little bit longer,” Henderson said.

“This is another thing I’d love to share, all the hits that I’ve had through the past 24-36 months never knock me out and usually within days my symptoms have resolved.

“In terms of taking a calculated risk on it all, for me if I’m feeling okay and I’m confident I don’t have prolonged symptoms and I think I can play good footy with no dramas, that’s something that I’ll look at doing.

“But at this point in time, I’ll just look at the 21-day protocol which we’ve already set out a bit of a plan, and I’ll get through that and if I’m feeling confident, there’s a possibility.”

However, Henderson is mindful of making the right decision for the people he loves.

“Also very understanding of the risks involved now and want to really careful that I’m not being selfish towards other people – family, partner, mum, dad, and things like that,” Henderson said.

“So I don’t want to get in a position where I keep playing and I get hit again and I’m really in some strife, but also I don’t want to close any doors. Because reality is if I’m feeling really good and I’m feeling confident, I think there could potentially be a way forward.”

A star of the Geelong league this year in trying circumstances playing under his father at Lara, Henderson has loved the challenge of leading a young and inexperienced side.

He hopes he can be back out there playing for the Cats again.

“That’s probably my biggest disappointment about what comes from the weekend is I kind of feel like I’m throwing these kids to the wolves a little because they’re losing a real on field leader,” Henderson said.

“It’s a great thing within my personality but it’s also a bit of a flaw that I feel like I’m pretty resilient, so I do find it hard to say no to things and I suppose find the reality in the circumstance.

“But I would say that in three weeks time if I’m feeling okay and I’m feeling confident, there is a chance I could come back. But also very realistic of where I’m at as well.

“So overall, I would say I’m pretty hopeful.”