‘I wear headphones when our baby cries… my wife hates it’

“I’m autistic and have pretty severe sensory issues, but she says as a parent I need to learn to cope, and crying is something we signed up for,” the dad reveals.

When parents have a baby for the first time, it’s hard to know what they might find easy, and what they might struggle with.

A very organised woman who’s always on the ball might find the constant interruptions of a new baby mean it’s impossible to stay on top of anything.

A normally relaxed man might find broken sleep makes him super irritable during the day.

And some people, like Miles, might discover that their sensory issues make it almost impossible to cope when their new baby is crying.

Miles and Jenn’s daughter is three months old, but already the bub has developed quite the set of pipes.

“I’m diagnosed autistic and as a result have some pretty severe sensory issues particularly around sound, and particularly when I’m tired,” he explained on a Reddit post.

“I have noise cancelling headphones which are a godsend, so I started wearing them when I found her crying too overwhelming, particularly when I get up at night with her.”

Miles says that he doesn’t use the headphones to ignore his daughter, in fact he wears them so he can “hold her without feeling overwhelmed”.

But Jenn doesn’t like it. “She said that being a parent involves having to cope with the bad stuff, it’s what we signed up or and that it’s important not to block out her crying so I can feel what our daughter is feeling.”

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Miles discovered that noise-cancelling headphones were the best way to deal with the noise of his baby crying. Photo: iStock

Dad wears noise-cancelling headphones to block out baby crying

Jenn also thought their baby might be scared of Miles, seeing him “with stuff on his head when she’s at her most distressed”.

Miles decided Jenn was being reasonable, so he stopped wearing the headphones, but when his friend found out, he disagreed.

“He said I’m not a bad dad and my needs with my disability matter too.”

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Reddit commentors were in full support of Miles wearing the headphones.

“I think you found a wonderful solution and have a sweet attitude with your baby and dealing with crying in the middle of the night. There’s nothing wrong with headphones,” one person said. “If you are less frazzled it will make you a better partner to your wife also.”

“I’m imagining a future where the child (for some reason they don’t really understand) just gets calm whenever someone puts on headphones, because they associate them with being held and comforted,” said another.

“My daughter is autistic with aural sensory issues and often wears headphones in social situations to muffle things just enough so that she doesn’t get overstimulated. Anyone who says wearing headphones is an unreasonable accommodation does not understand the magnitude of distress caused by continuous, loud noise,” a third person said.

Originally published as ‘I wear headphones when our baby cries… my wife hates it’