How to avoid the marriage mistakes of A-listers such as Liam and Miley
When it comes to marriage we can learn a lot from the mistakes of A-list couples who don’t make it to their first anniversary, writes Kerry Parnell
NSW
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They really ought to rewrite the wedding vows for celebrity marriages — as “till death do us part” seems no longer applicable. “Until we decide it was all a terrible mistake after we’ve unwrapped the last gift,” might do instead. With Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus joining the long list of A-list marriages that fail fast, just what goes wrong when celebrities tie the knot? And why does it happen so soon?
It’s not like Hemsworth, 29, and Cyrus, 26, didn’t know what they were getting into. They had been together for a decade, on and off. The pair met in 2009 on the set of The Last Song and got engaged in 2012. After a three-year split, they married last December. But this week Liam filed for divorce citing “irreconcilable differences” and has indicated he wants to leave Malibu where the couple had been living and return home to Australia.
So why does this happen so often? Is it a case of couples using the excitement of wedding plans to cover the cracks in their relationship and when the party is over, so is the marriage? Yes, according to relationship expert Dr Karen Phillip.
“Couples are often caught up in the hype and excitement of the pending wedding,” she
says. “Once the wedding is over, we settle into normal life. Annoyances can then escalate into major irritations and things we may have tolerated previously become intolerable.”
Couples often expect behaviour to change once wed, says Matt Garrett, from Relationships Australia NSW. “They hope he or she will become more sensitive and caring, will want to become a homebody and start raising a family and if the expectations are not discussed prior to getting married, the couple can be in for quite a shock. There’s a very good reason for the term ‘cold feet’,” he says. “This may well have been the case for Liam and Miley.”
While the first year of marriage can be the most exciting, it poses the most challenges. “We transfer from a ‘me’ into a ‘we’,” says Dr Phillip. “Many are not prepared for this transition and failure is often inevitable.”
The problems are magnified when celebrities rush into marriage, because their lives are fast and impulsive.
“Celebrities may often carry an escalated value of themselves,” says Dr Phillip. “Couples can often be challenged with quality of time spent together given their schedules and sometimes
need a continuance of drama to feel alive; ordinary and stability can’t work.”
Reports have both suggested Cyrus was not ready to ditch her wild ways, while Hemsworth wanted to settle down and conversely, that his heavy partying was to blame. Since splitting, Cyrus has been snapped kissing friend Kaitlynn Carter and Hemsworth limping around Byron Bay.
Before marrying, it’s vital to be upfront about your expectations, says Dr Phillip. “Have a discussion or attend couple counselling prior to making that marriage commitment,” she says. “With Liam and Miley, it seems this conversation was not had.”
While many couples find themselves navigating choppy waters in their first year of marriage, it doesn’t always spell a shipwreck. Another couple facing extreme external pressure is Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex — the latter, who, despite all the training available could never have completely understood what her new life would be.
But they appear to be weathering the storm together, unlike Harry’s parents, says Matt Garrett.
“When you compare the images of Harry and Meghan to Charles and Diana, I see warmth, empathy and a real regard toward the other in the way they look at each other and hold themselves,” he says. “Let’s hope they can withstand the scrutiny. If they survive it will be a credit to them both to their commitment to each other and the relationship.”
Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus join a long list of celebs whose trips down the aisle ended in disaster.
KIM KARDASHIAN AND KRIS HUMPHRIES: 72 Days
Kardashian wed NBA player Humphries in a lavish televised ceremony in 2011, but the fairytale ended 72 days later when the reality star said she “realised I f...ed up.”
NICOLAS CAGE AND ASSORTED: From four days
After divorcing actor Patricia Arquette in 2001, Cage wed Lisa Marie Presley in 2002, but filed for divorce 107 days later. His third marriage, to former waitress Alice Kim, lasted 12 years, but his fourth to make-up artist Erika Koike in March four days.
RENEE ZELLWEGER AND KENNY CHESNEY: Four months
In May 2005 the Bridget Jones star married country music singer Kenny Chesney — annulling it four months later, citing “fraud”.
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito: Four months
The Hangover star married actor Jennifer Esposito in December 2006, but four months later it was over. “It was just something that happened,” he said.
PAMELA ANDERSON AND ASSORTED: From two months
The Baywatch star likes a quickie wedding. She married Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee in 1995 after four days and divorced three years later. She next wed another muso Kid Rock in July 2006 but split in November, then poker pro Rick Salomon in October 2007, separating in December. She remarried him in 2014 — lasting a year.
BRITNEY SPEARS AND ASSORTED: From 55 hours
Another serial vow offender is Britney Spears, who famously married old friend Jason Alexander in Las Vegas in 2004 and annulled it 55 hours later. Later that year she wed back-up dancer Kevin Federline, and split two years later.
DREW BARRYMORE AND ASSORTED: From 19 days
Former wild child Drew Barrymore has rushed in and out of three marriages. Her first to bar owner Jeremy Thomas in 2004, ended 19 days later. Next was MTV host Tom Green in 2001 which lasted a year. In 2012 she married art consultant Will Kopelman, but separated four years later.
ELISABETH MOSS AND FRED ARMISEN: Eight months
The Handmaid’s Tale star married actor Fred Armisen in October 2009 and split the following June.
JENNIFER LOPEZ AND ASSORTED: From nine months
Poor Jenny has been around the block with husbands. Her marriage to Cuban waiter Ojani Noa lasted 11 months and back-up dancer Cris Judd nine. Her third marriage to longtime friend Marc Anthony lasted from 2004-2011.
KATY PERRY AND RUSSELL BRAND: 14 months
The singer married actor Russell Brand in 2010 but 14 months later announced they were divorcing. She says Brand broke up by text and never spoke to her again.
JOHNNY DEPP AND AMBER HEARD: 15 months
Johnny Depp divorced make-up artist Lori Anne Allison in 1986 and was in a de-facto relationship with French actor Vanessa Paradis for 14 years. But it was his marriage
to actor Heard in February 2015 that was the biggest failure — ending 15 months later with allegations of domestic abuse.
Originally published as How to avoid the marriage mistakes of A-listers such as Liam and Miley
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