Before I Go: Torquay grandmother Joan Hepworth shares life lessons after stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis

When Torquay’s Joan Hepworth went into palliative care more than three years ago, she was given six months to live. But the grandmother is a “walking miracle”. She shares her life lessons as part of a new series.

Death is something we all face and yet it can seem so far away.

But nothing puts life into focus like truly appreciating it will end.

As part of a new series called Before I Go, the Addy’s Chelsea Bunting is speaking to those taking their final steps on the journey, giving them a chance to share their stories and the lessons they have learned.

When Torquay’s Joan Hepworth went into palliative care more than three years ago, she was given six months to live.

The 62-year-old was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in March 2021.

An 11cm inoperable tumour was wrapped around her aorta.

She underwent daily radical radiation and weekly chemotherapy sessions for six weeks.

A year later, after she had already entered palliative care, Mrs Hepworth had a seizure in her living room, which led to her finding out the cancer spread to her brain.

She is currently in palliative care at home with Barwon Health.

Her husband of 44 years, Brian Hepworth, said his wife was a “walking miracle”.

They share two children and five grandchildren.

Mrs Hepworth volunteered as a netball and umpiring coach for local sporting clubs and worked as an after-school care and kindergarten teacher.

Joan Hepworth with her husband Brian. Picture: Brad Fleet

Question: What’s a memory that you treasure?

Joan: There are so many. I treasure all moments. All the best memories are family orientated. Little moments in life are all treasures so you can’t just pick one. You find little nuggets every day and you treasure them, especially when you know there might not be as many later on.

Q: What is your proudest achievement?

J: I’m proud of everything I’ve done. My proudest achievement is the fact that we’re still here and we’ve found strength we didn’t know we had. I’m proud of ourselves. I’ve achieved lots of little things like netball awards, but I think my proudest moment is when I realised how strong I am.

Q: What would you tell your younger self?

J: Don’t put off anything. Don’t worry about what other people think, if you can afford it, do it today because tomorrow your whole life might get turned upside down. We put off big trips (around Australia) until after we retired but we can’t do them anymore. Don’t say “I’ll do it then” because there might not be a “then”. Do it now.

Q: Do you have any regrets?

J: Regrets are useless. You can be sorry for something you did, but you fix it and move on so I don’t have any regrets.

Q: What’s a life lesson you would like to share with others?

J: Roll with the punches. Don’t argue with people on the internet, it’s useless. Find the joy in life. Be kind to everyone, even if they’re being mean to you because you don’t know what has happened in their day and you might be the one person they can take it out on. Take a deep breath, relax and move on.

Joan Hepworth was diagnosed with lung cancer in March 2021. Picture: Brad Fleet

Q: Are you scared of dying?

J: I’m not scared of dying but I’m scared of the process of it. You don’t want to go, so to buy time, you let them (hospital staff) do pretty yucky things to you that produce really yucky side effects. You want to stay here as long as you can, so you will do what you feel is necessary to buy time and some of the necessary things are not pleasant. I’m not scared of the end result, just the process to get there.

Q: What do you think will happen after you die?

J: Good question. This might sound silly but when I was getting put under to (have a tumour on my brain cut out), I have a distinct vision of our(late) friend Colin, who had bowel cancer and was in a wheelchair. Just before I drifted off, my mum, who passed away a few years ago, was wheeling Colin to me and I could feel them touching my hand. Colin said, “Don’t you worry, we’re cutting the f**ker out”. I have a feeling people hang around for a little while. Heaven and hell are just names. I think people keep an eye on you.

Q: What mark do you think you are leaving behind?

J: Whoever I encountered during my life, I wanted them to feel like their life was enriched by knowing me. That sounds awfully self-centred but I’m not ashamed of it. I didn’t want to go through life knowing that I might have disturbed someone’s life. I hope whoever met me, felt better for knowing me.

Originally published as Before I Go: Torquay grandmother Joan Hepworth shares life lessons after stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis