50 spicy 'Would You Rather' questions to keep things intimate

Keep the fire burning long after the first date

Think of intimacy as the secret sauce that keeps relationships spicy. One that you need to keep stirring over a medium heat. But how do you keep the flame from burning out? 

It is always sexy in the beginning. When you’re just discovering each other's bodies, uncovering hidden turn-ons, and realising what revs your new partner up.

When every kiss and every late-night DnM is bathed in the unknown, and there’s still so much to learn about each other. 

But then a few months, or maybe even a few years, run by, and suddenly your level of intimacy has simmered all the way down to lukewarm. 

“Life gets busy and it’s easy for couples, especially those juggling a million tasks a day, to drift into roommate territory,” intimacy and relationship coach Chloe Mascord tells Body+Soul. Which is a whole new kind of friendzone you don’t want to enter.

That’s why, the expert stresses, you always need to put the work in – whether you’re new to a relationship or hoping to rekindle the romance.   

“Keeping the intimacy alive with little acts of love, desire and attention acts like glue, binding you together, not just on the surface but deep in the heart,” says Mascord. “Whether it’s a steamy text or a lingering kiss, these moments help you feel connected, not just physically but also emotionally, making every day a little more vibrant and a lot more loving.” 

What makes a Would You Rather question good? 

One way of continuing to get to know each other while keeping that spark well and truly firing, is with good old fashioned fun and funny 'Would You Rather' questions for couples, which Mascord says should be intriguing and a little provocative: “enough to make you laugh”.

“It’s about striking a balance between humour and depth and challenging each other in a light-hearted way that opens up the conversation,” explains the somatic sex coach. 

“These questions should invite you to explore each other’s deeper desires and lighter sides, adding layers to your understanding of one another. It’s all about sparking that fun curiosity and diving into each other's thoughts and discovering new sides to your partner in a light and playful way.

Would You Rather questions should be intriguing and a little provocative. Image: iStock

How can Would You Rather questions help you get some intimacy with your partner? 

Breaking down awkward barriers for a start. 

“Spicy Would You Rather questions are excellent at breaking the ice and setting the stage for deeper intimacy,” says Mascord. “They can quickly shift the mood from everyday to exceptional, prompting both playful banter and serious discussions about preferences and fantasies.”

For example, you could ask your partner, ‘Would you rather end a perfect date with a passionate kiss or a heartfelt conversation?’. “That could lead to revealing exchanges that deepen the connection and stir up the emotional and romantic energy between you two,” explains Mascord. 

Not to mention take your sex lives to the next level, because there is nothing like tabling your wildest dreams to help them come true. 

“By bringing fantasies and desires into the light, these questions do more than just spark interest – they can significantly deepen intimacy and understanding,” the sex coach says, describing them as a “playful yet powerful tool for couples looking to enhance their sexual relationship”. 

“By integrating 'Would You Rather' questions into your intimate conversations, you’re not just talking about fantasies; you’re taking steps towards making them a part of your sexual repertoire, thereby enriching your connection and expanding your sexual horizons together.”

Exploring fantasies safely

“Sometimes, sharing our deepest desires can feel daunting and overwhelming,” Mascord says. “Would You Rather questions provide a low-pressure environment for couples to explore and express their fantasies.

"This game-like approach can make it easier to discuss scenarios that might otherwise feel too intense or vulnerable to bring up directly.”

Opening doors to new experiences

“By asking each other provocative questions, you uncover new possibilities and scenarios that may not have occurred to either partner,” explains the intimacy coach. “For instance, a question like, ‘Would you rather try blindfolds or soft bondage?’, could reveal a mutual interest in exploring elements of BDSM in a fun and non-threatening way.

"Each answer provides insights and can pave the way for these fantasies to move towards reality.”

Enhancing communication

Mascord says regularly engaging in these types of conversations can significantly improve communication between partners.

“As you both respond to these imaginative scenarios, you learn more about each other's likes, dislikes, and boundaries. This ongoing dialogue fosters an environment of trust and openness, crucial for a satisfying and adventurous sex life.”

Building anticipation and excitement

Discussing potential sexual scenarios can build anticipation and create a sense of excitement and playfulness, explains Mascord.

“The curiosity about whether a fantasy might be enacted can add an exhilarating charge to your interactions, both in and out of the bedroom.

Mutual consent and comfort 

“These discussions help ensure that any new or adventurous sexual activities are approached with mutual consent and comfort,” the expert adds. “Knowing that you’re both on board with certain fantasies can make the experience more enjoyable and fulfilling.”

Would you be up for getting down at the beach? Image: iStock

50 OF Our favourite Would You Rather questions that keep things spicy in a relationship

Call us naughty (*guilty), but when it comes to getting to know the ins and outs about our partners, our mind goes straight to the gutter and we want to know absolutely everything. 

So here is our list of the best flirty and dirty Would You Rather questions to ask your other half on the next date night. 

About the buildup… 

1. Would you rather sext or have phone sex? 
2. Would you rather watch porn by yourself or together? 
3. Would you rather receive a surprise nude photo during the work day or at night?
4. Would you rather go to a sex shop alone or with me?
5. Would you rather PDA or kiss in private? 
6. Would you rather scheduling sex in or keep it spontaneous? 
7. Would you rather a bouquet of flowers or a sex toy? 
8. Would you rather show me your porn search history or look at mine? 

When it comes to setting the scene… 

1. Would you rather find me at home naked or with underwear on?   
2. Would you rather keep the curtains open or closed? 
3. Would you rather have sex with the lights on or off? 
4. Would you rather have sex in the morning or at night?  
5. Would you rather role-play or just be us? 
6. Would you rather go for a romantic weekend away or visit a sex club together? 
7. Would you rather be blindfolded, handcuffed or gagged? 
8. Would you rather listen to music or keep sounds au naturel?
9. Would you rather live in a world without sex toys or the other sex? 

Sex toys during sex? Yay or nay? Image: Unsplash

Let’s talk foreplay… 

1. Would you rather have foreplay or skip to the main act? 
2. Would you rather I give you a strip tease or you strip down for me?
3. Would you rather have your neck kissed or eat nibbled?
4. Would you rather we used dirty talk or whispered sweet nothings to each other? 
5. Would you rather have a make-out sesh or one epic French kiss? 
6. Would you rather we played with a feather or a whip?
7. Would you rather go down on me or I go down on you?
8. Would you rather lick chocolate or whipped cream off my body? 
9. Would you rather we used sex toys in the bedroom or not?
10. Would you rather watch me masturbate or do it for me? 
11. Would you rather have mediocre foreplay and great sex or great foreplay and mediocre sex?
12. Would you rather oral sex or penetrative sex only for the rest of your life?

About the main act...

1. Would you rather have below-average sex every day for a year or the best sex of your life once a year? 
2. Would you rather go slow and gentle or hard and fast?
3. Would you rather have more kink or more romance during sex?
4. Would you rather have multiple quickies or one hour-long session? 
5. Would you rather have sex in public or private? 
6. Would you rather have your hair stroked or pulled? 
7. Would you rather keep quiet during sex or be totally vocal? 
8. Would you rather do doggy or the cowgirl sex position? 
9. Would you rather spank me or be spanked? 
10. Would you rather have sex in the back of a car or on the beach? 
11. Would you rather have a threesome involving two men or two women?
12. Would you rather have sex in a shower or in a pool?
13. Would you rather swap partners with strangers or with friends? 
14. Would you rather have strangers watch you have sex or watch strangers having sex? 
15. Would you rather we filmed ourselves having sex or just voice recorded? 
16. Would you rather I whisper or scream your name when I climax? 
17. Would you rather close your eyes or keep them open every time you orgasm?

About aftercare…

1. Would you rather we cuddle or don't touch after we have sex? 
2. Would you rather be the little spoon or the big spoon? 
3. Would you rather go to sleep or chat after sex? 
4. Would you like to go again during the night or wait until morning?

Originally published as 50 spicy 'Would You Rather' questions to keep things intimate