When it comes to pornography and its impact on modern-day intimacy and connection, the ever-expanding industry is often painted in a negative light. 

But according to OnlyFans creator Alix Lynx, who some men pay up to $100,000 a year for strictly online companionship, the exponential growth of the porn industry is indicative of one underlying problem: men are lonelier than ever, and for a host of reasons, are struggling to master the art of meaningful connection in real life. 

As a result, men of all ages, backgrounds and tax brackets are turning to online platforms, and the creators featured on them, to get their sexual, emotional, and intellectual fix.

While many are sceptical of its long-term impact on society, Lynx says the growing popularity of online girlfriends, a role she has consistently filled for many subscribers over the years, is worth taking the time to understand on a deeper level. 

“I think they want to feel seen by someone, they want to feel heard by someone,” she says of the men who regularly enlist her services and companionship over seeking real-life relationships. “They don't want to feel judged. They just kind of want to unplug, get a break from reality.”

“People could have very fulfilling lives, and still go to OF as a novelty, as a kind of fantasy, and as a break from reality. Similar to when people play video games, or binge Netflix, right? It's just another outlet of escapism, really.”

But for some clients who speak to Lynx on a daily basis, sharing details about their personal lives, jobs and innermost feelings, the creator says the simplicity and consistency of her online companionship is what keeps them coming back for more.

“Some of them work really, really hard, and they're just working all the time, and they don't want to make the time to look for these 'real life' connections. Maybe they're in a period of their lives where they're building a business, or sometimes people go through phases of life where it's like they want to focus on one thing and they don't want to focus on finding a partner,” she explains. 

“I also think, especially when it comes to men, a lot of them grow up and are told to stifle their feelings, and that their feelings don't matter. They are told to suck it up and be the strong one. But they've got feelings too, and they want a place to feel seen and heard and not judged.”

Through subscriber-based platforms that allow for direct communication with creators, Lynx says that men who ordinarily wouldn’t cross paths with women like her are free to explore conversation and connection at whatever pace they choose.  

“Sometimes they also don't have the tools to express themselves, and they are super introverted and don't have the skills to talk to women in real life. Can you seek that online?” Says Lynx.

“When it comes to girls in my field, a real-life connection is not going to happen. So this is the only way that they can get access to that.”

And for people who may criticise creators like Lynx, accusing them of ‘taking advantage’ of lonely men, the gruelling reality of her job might come as a surprise. 

“I think a lot of people have huge misconceptions about the fact that girls who do OnlyFans have it so easy, they're just taking the easy way out, like, it's not real work, it's not a real job,” she says. “Anyone who's really successful on the platform, who's at least reached my level of success, it's a lot of f*cking work.”

In between filming content and dedicating time and attention to her subscribers, Lynx takes on the majority of her marketing, PR and production responsibilities, somehow finding the time to manage merch orders, brand expansion, and her social media activity.

“Even when I’m not actively shooting content, I’m constantly planning for it. I’ve got a trip to Vegas next month to shoot for a week, and I’m already deep into pre-production: scouting locations, coordinating with collaborators, messaging my director, brainstorming scene concepts, and organising outfits,” she says. “It’s definitely not a 'just show up and shoot' kind of thing. There’s a lot of prep that goes into making a content day run smoothly.”

But of course, while Lynx’s clever entrepreneurial mindset and grit have helped her carve out a lucrative career on the platform, the vast majority of creators are not pulling in anywhere near seven figures a year. 

And while the porn industry may not be to blame for every issue impacting young people grappling with their identity and sexuality, the exponential growth the industry has experienced in the past decade and the unparalleled access emerging generations have to pornographic content undoubtedly plays a significant role. 

So much so that activist Chanel Contos is calling for porn literacy to be taught in schools in an attempt to better equipt young people with the skills necessary to critically analyse the stereotypes, power dynamics and gender roles being portrayed through pornographic content.

Because while we can’t entirely stop young people from accessing explicit content, we can encourage them to approach any content they may encounter (accidentally or purposefully) with the same critical lens they might read news headlines or their favourite influencer’s #sponsored post with.

Is porn helping or hindering men’s ability to connect?

Like any vice, habit or addiction, the impact pornography has on someone’s ability to form and maintain healthy relationships depends entirely on the individual. 

“People get to do whatever the f*ck they want, they’re adults, right?” Says Lynx. “I think you could replace a guy’s membership with literally any form of escapism: alcohol, drugs, sports, games, gambling, shopping. I don’t think it’s the access to this kind of parasocial relationship that’s the problem: it’s the behaviour.”

“People are quick to say, ‘Oh, porn addiction!’ And sure, that can be real, but anything can be an addiction,” adds the creator. “We’re talking about adults with free will.”

“If a guy really wants to go out and connect with women in real life, he can choose to do that. If he has a hard time communicating or is awkward, there are resources.”

While Lynx’s ever-growing subscriber base has allowed her to experience the kind of financial prosperity most dream of, the creator says she’s most proud of the sense of community her page has created for men all around the world.

“When I go live, the guys say hi to each other, they know each other. They banter. They’re like online friends,” she says. “I love that. I love that I’ve done that for these people.”