Vinotherapy: How bathing in red wine is good for your health

Could soaking in a nice red be the answer to your bodily woes? It seems wine bathing is big business. The claim behind vinotherapy is that the antioxidants in red wine do wonders for slowing down the skin’s ageing process. Here’s how to take the plunge.

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The quaffing wine I buy more regularly than I’d like to admit costs $12.99. And when I spill so much as a thimble-full, it feels as though I may as well be using $5 bills as toilet paper for the wastefulness it implies.

The precious nature of vino does not escape me, which is why the idea of bathing in it feels more decadent than feeding caviar to a guinea pig. Even filling a bathtub with boxed goon made from pulped skins would surely put you back several hundred dollars — who would want to partake in such an irrational display of consumption?

Wine bathing is a popular spa treatment at AIRE Ancient Baths. Picture: Facebook/AIRE

A lot of people, apparently — the same ones who crave gold-leaf facials and salt-stone massages, I’d imagine; those for whom their body is their business and they are the intractable CEO. Which means red-wine bathing is now offered in multiple spas and bathhouses in the US and UK, and is eking its way into the Australian market as we speak.

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The biggest proponent of vinotherapy globally, AIRE Ancient Baths, has already bunkered down in New York, Barcelona and Chicago, with Copenhagen and London outlets opening in 2019.

It seems wine bathing is big business — and I want in. The claim behind vinotherapy is that the same antioxidants from red wine that may help prevent coronary artery disease when imbibed also do wonders for slowing down the skin’s ageing process and leaving it feeling velvety soft when bathed in.

As this is essentially a spa treatment, there’s a lot of run-of-the-mill wellness paraphernalia involved — candles, robes, that sort of thing — but I’m going to skip that and get right to the booze.

Vinotherapy at O’Reilly’s Rainforest Retreat. Picture: Supplied

Is it shiraz, merlot, pinot noir? Spanish tempranillo, I’m told. But before you head to the bottle-o, there’s a bit more to it — the mix includes wine, warm water and grape ‘marc’, which is the pips and pulp left over from the wine-making process.

A pre-visit visit to the AIRE website informs me I’ll be doing my soaking in an antique Venetian well from the XVII century (I had to look that up to find out it means 17th century). What do they teach kids in schools these days? For the record, said soaking lasts for XXX minutes — that would be 30 minutes for those playing at home. Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Soaking in red wine is a little different than drinking it. Picture: Darren England

I’m also told there’s a 15-minute scalp massage involved, too. I happen to be a first-class sucker for a head tuning, so at this point I start to worry I’ll loosen up so much some sneaky relax-gas will escape. I don’t know how those telling bubbles will travel in red wine, but I guess it won’t be subtle.

I also wonder if I’ll be allowed to drink the wine after I bathe in it and whether, as a concept, that’s peak wellness or downright disgusting — I suppose it depends on whether you let any of those aforementioned ‘bubbles’ escape.

Vinotherapy is gaining in popularity.

As far as spa treatments go, it’s up there. It’s got all the trappings of a traditional facial/massage/ float with some serious added pizzazz. The fact the couples’ red-wine experience is the most popular should tell you something.

This is to romance what a KitchenAid mixer is to baking — sure, you could get the job done without it, but it’s nowhere near as fun.

The whole thing is glorious and tranquil, and I’m left with only one unanswered question: how often do they change the wine? After a very relaxing soak, I couldn’t bring myself to ask. I’m hoping it’s at least as often as we change prime ministers, otherwise the person after me probably should have got 10 per cent off.

Is my skin softer and more supple? Not that I notice. But is it novel? On a scale of one to Stephen King, I’d have to give it a Tim Winton.

I’ve never felt more chichi in my life!

* Emma is a comedian, writer and b+s’ intrepid trend guinea pig. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @markyknowsbest

THE LOWDOWN

WHAT: Wine bathing.

WHERE: beaire.com, if you’re travelling overseas, or O’Reilly’s Rainforest Retreat in QLD for a local option.

HOW MUCH: From US$450 at AIRE and $595 at O’Reilly’s.

I LOVED: The smell. It’s like after-work drinks meets Swedish sauna and it’s a heady mix — like sweat intermingled with honey.

FYI: I asked a vet friend of mine and apparently it would be a really, really bad idea to feed caviar to a guinea pig. Just FYI.

Originally published as Vinotherapy: How bathing in red wine is good for your health