Why our cafe reviewer is now eating in the gutter

Enjoying a flash cafe fit-out is now a thing of the past. But having to eat in the gutter didn’t put our reviewer off this breakfast feast

Cafe reviews are looking a little different right now.

While I would normally be telling you about the pretty, feminine-industrial sunroom at Kenmore eatery Method to the Madness, with its cushion-strewn banquette, blonde timbers and softening orchard of potted and hanging plants and vines, I can’t sit in there to enjoy it.

Instead, I’m eating my breakfast in the gutter of the carpark outside – ants trying to steal a sip of my very good cappuccino made on Veneziano beans (who could blame them?) and attempting to cut a side of tanned, crisp bacon in an alfoil container with a plastic knife.

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It’s odd to say the least, but it’s great to still be able to support the hospitality industry that is doing it so tough right now.

Method to the Madness cafe, offering takeaway. Picture: Mark Cranitch

Since strict new government rules closed all cafes and restaurants to dine-in customers, businesses have had to pivot and move to a takeaway-only model if they want to survive.

Breakfast is not an easy thing to do takeaway, unless you’re talking about simple bacon and egg burgers, but Method to the Madness is proving it can be done and done well.

The cafe is offering its full regular menu as pick-up or delivery within 2km by ordering over the phone, encompassing the likes of “A serpent’s egg your way” with two eggs either poached, fried or scrambled with hash brown fries, chilli jam and sourdough ($13.90), “Who cares what Shakespeare liked” ($18.90) comprising smashed avo on quinoa toast with whipped goat’s cheese, pea hummus, poached eggs, beetroot za’atar and salsa, and the creative-sounding “Smell as sweet” featuring two cinnamon sugar fried bao buns, one filled with brownie ice cream, the other with citrus sorbet, alongside vegemite caramel, fresh fruit, granola and nutella ($18.50).

The bowl for the Romans dish, served up as takeaway. Picture: Mark Cranitch

While the Instagram-worthy plating that the cafe is normally known for is not quite as elegant when the dish is squished into a cardboard or foil box, it hasn’t affected the flavour.

My vegan-friendly, gluten-free “A bowl for the Romans” ($18.90) is filled with many of the vital nutrients doctors are recommending we eat in this time of COVID-19. Think turmeric-roasted florets of cauliflower, slivers of beetroot and a whopping crescent of butter-soft roasted pumpkin hiding a quinoa, diced sweet potato and kale salad below. While that would be enough, there are also beetroot falafels that if you closed your eyes could almost pass for sausages in flavour and texture; plus smashed avo, sweet potato hummus and lemony cumin tahini to ensure no two bites are the same. Proving healthy food can taste great, it’s also big enough to have leftovers for lunch.

With fritters always a favourite, the version at Method breaks away from the traditional, opting for a spicy blend of carrot and sweet potato ($19.90). The smouldering stack is extinguished with a chilled corn and lime puree (that may be better slightly warmed through) while a poached egg provides protein, and the pickled fennel salad a little aniseed crunch. The menu’s recommendation to add a side of bacon for $5 is worth adhering to.

While service these days is kept to a minimum and has to be done at a 1.5m distance, there are big smiles all around when customers come to pick up their food in what is our new normal.

Method to the Madness is adapting to these troubling times with skill and grace, and with lunch and dinner also available, it is well worth checking out. For ambience though, eat at home rather than in the carpark like me.