Frances Whiting: Is it Christmas already?

“LOOK mummy, it’s Christmas!” the little boy in front of me says to his mother in what used to be the cleaning products aisle of our local supermarket. I say “what used to be” because apparently a crack team of Santa’s elves has moved in.

“LOOK mummy, it’s Christmas!” the little boy in front of me said to his mother in what used to be the cleaning products aisle of our local supermarket.

I say “what used to be” because apparently a crack team of Santa’s elves had moved in overnight to restock the shelves with baubles, tinsel, reindeer, stockings, mugs, lights and advent calendars.

In that moment, I knew that mother had a choice, because all parents have been that mother – or father – in that moment when stores suddenly decide that it may be September or October everywhere else, but what the hell, it’s Christmas in Aisle Two!

I felt for that mother, because while my children are older now, and I no longer have to patiently explain every single decision I make; I just have to roll my eyes and threaten to cut off the wi-fi, I do remember what it was like to be confronted by the early onset of the festive season.

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I also wondered what she would do, as there are several parenting strategies that could be employed in this situation.

Would she a) employ the Jedi mind trick tactic, which involves staring directly at the child and pretending that whatever is happening is actually not happening.

In this case, for example, the mother, in response to the child’s “Look mummy it’s Christmas!” statement, would firmly and confidently say “no it isn’t”, ignoring the fact that he is standing in Santaland and has popped an adorable elf hat on his head.

Or would she b) go the socialist parent route, a state periodically brought on by overwhelming displays of rampant consumerism and explain that no, it isn’t Christmas it is just the greedy, multi-national corporate giants propping up their offshore, Swiss bank accounts, the blood sucking leeches.

Or would she b) smile at him, tuck him under the chin, and say “I know darling, isn’t it exciting! Now let’s pick out one of those lovely baubles for our tree, shall we?”

Now, I have been all three mothers in that situation — all right, maybe not mother choosing c. – so I was interested to see which of the strategies she would employ …

“What?” she said staring straight and the child, “no it isn’t darling – would you like a cheese stick?”

Illustration: Jonathan Bentley

Aaah, the Jedi mind trick and diversion, brilliant.

But here’s the thing, she shouldn’t have had to employ any of them, at least not in October.

We all know that stores bring out their Christmas goods earlier each year, but it is now becoming ridiculous.

Not as ridiculous as the woman I saw on television the other day explaining how she loved how early the stores put out their Christmas goods each year, because it gave her more time to plan Christmas Day.

I’m sorry, but how much time could she possibly need – it’s not the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games she’s trying to pull together.

It’s one day, spent with relatives, gathered around a table eating some prawns, a chicken or two, some salad, a few bread rolls and a bit of pudding.

Granted, it’s a bit more than that, but is it three months more? Is it? Do any of us need three months to do this now?

No, we do not. Or at least I do not, and nor do any of all the other parents doing the weekly shop and already having a meltdown at the checkout queue because they’ve forgotten the damn re-usable bags again.

They really do not need to be confronted by a row of chocolate Santas at the same time.

Now, I love Christmas I really do, I am the person who would keep her Christmas tree up all year around if allowed to.

I love every aspect of it; the spiritual, the emotional, the gastronomical, but for me the magic of Christmas is becoming more like a slogan each year and less like the real thing.

What do you think? Is it too early to start planning for Christmas Day? Or is this just a sign of our busy times?

I really think this practice needs to be stopped, or at least toned down, but I am willing to allow the chocolate Santas.