Rory Gibson: The break up I didn’t see coming

Columnist Rory Gibson on the break-up that blindsided him and the remorse he feels that the relationship didn’t work out.

THE break-up was a shock. I didn’t see it coming.

This lovely woman who had become such a vibrant part of our family life wasn’t there any more.

Could I have done anything to keep her from leaving? I keep scrolling over our time together looking for clues to what curdled the bond.

Columnist Rory Gibson at the beach. Picture: Nigel Hallett

But that’s just wasted energy, a futile exercise in pity. She’s gone.

I know time will work its healing magic and the disappointment will fade, but for the moment the space where she once stood is filled with remorse that it didn’t work out.

I’m really going to miss her, my son’s girlfriend.

Sure, my young fella is feeling a bit sad too. That’s understandable I suppose.

They had known each other in primary school but only got together after bumping into each other in one of the Valley’s vomit barns one night a couple of years ago.

She was a delight to have around, really good fun. I realised she could be a keeper when she organised a game of beer pong for us all on Christmas Eve last year.

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In the lead up to last Christmas all three sons and their long-term girlfriends stayed with me for a few days, offering a glimpse of what future festive season gatherings will look like when the boys settle on permanent partners and start planning their own families. It’s a progression I’m really looking forward to.

You never stop worrying about your kids, do you? You breathe a sigh of relief when you get them through the teenage years and school, but then fret about their job prospects.

Who they sleep with is a biggie. It can cause you to have sleepless nights.

We all know of parents whose children end up with partners who are a horror show. Letting the wrong one in can ruin a family dynamic, as well as lead your son or daughter a long way away from what could have been a bright future.

Seeing your kids form a bond with someone that seems right for them - and, much more important of course, you - is a huge relief.

I’m meeting my newly single son for breakfast this morning for a counselling session. I hope he can cope with my grief.