Rory Gibson: The woman who held our family together after my wife died
After the loss of his wife Kate, mother to their three boys, Rory Gibson says there was one woman who stepped in and made sure their sons received ‘regular doses of mothering’.
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Ten years ago this week my wife Kate took her last breath, cancer robbing our three sons of a wonderful mother and her of the opportunity to see them grow into excellent young men.
In the years since, regular readers have had glimpses of how the boys have fared under the sole tutelage of Moi. I’m happy to say we all survived.
But I was lucky. Although the boys found themselves without their mum while still in school, they received regular doses of mothering (and still do) from a person who I would like
to acknowledge.
Anne, a mother of four boys herself, feels Kate’s loss as keenly as we do. They were best mates, a friendship forged on the sidelines of school ovals and at swimming club committee nights. They leaned on each other to solve the problems of mothering boys, and our families have marched through similar stages of life for the past 20 years.
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When Kate died, Anne stepped in to help – without ever stepping on my toes. She told the boys that if they ever needed anything and I wasn’t available, they were to ring her.
My youngest son, Will, saw this as an invitation to get a lift home from the train station after school. Despite my exhortations for her to let the little bugger walk home, she could never refuse him.
There were regular meals at Anne and her husband David’s home. If I was away they would keep an eye on the boys for me. They made us feel like part of their extended family.
Anne never misses Kate’s birthday, always sending us a little message acknowledging the day. She also is acutely aware of the date on which Kate died, and doesn’t fail to let us know she is thinking about her friend.
To me, Anne typifies all that is glorious about motherhood, and true friendship. And it isn’t just my family who is the recipient of her warmth and generosity … she’s like that
with everyone.
It is women like Anne who hold families, and communities, together, dispensing love and wisdom to whoever needs it.
So it’s you I’ve been thinking about this week, Anne. Thank you, for everything.