Rory Gibson: The good things that will come out of this pandemic

This is a challenging time, but this pandemic will change us in good ways as well as bad. Here are the things we are going to learn about ourselves and our community.

I lean towards optimism. I believe in the silver lining. Here’s what I think will be some of the welcome consequences of the pandemic.

1. The status of checkout chicks and supermarket shelf-stackers has changed forever. Instead of being looked down upon by work snobs, they are now the glue that holds society together.

2. Kids will find out where food comes from when they have to grow their own.

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3. With self-isolation, grandparents can get out of babysitting without having to book a cruise.

4. We’ll all have a bidet. Or, conventional toilets will be replaced with those Asian ones that squirt water directly at your freckle. They make ablutions entertaining, and no more toilet paper rage.

5. Conversation will make a welcome return to the art of seduction, as social-distancing and lockdowns derail the age of instant hook-ups.

6. I learned how to hunt, skin and dress a rabbit when I was a teenager. If the economy keeps tanking, this skill set could finally prove useful.

7. We will get to know our neighbours better because, for the foreseeable future, we won’t be leaving the neighbourhood.

Columnist Rory Gibson at the beach. Picture: Nigel Hallett

Here’s a tip for introverts on how to do that:

My builder mate Paul has been living in my house while doing some renovations. In a short time he has come to know everyone in the street, greets the staff in the local cafes by name, and when he walks into the pub it takes him 10 minutes to get to the bar because he runs a chat gauntlet.

I was fascinated as to how he became part of the community so quickly … I’d lived in the street for six months and knew only the name of one neighbour. I put Paul under surveillance. The secret to his social success, I discovered, is that he asks a second question. His first question is, “How ya going, mate?” People answer “Good thanks” and, for most of us, that will be the end of the exchange. Not for Paul. He asks another question, and before you know it he’s found a new bosom buddy.

Now is a great time to ask all our neighbours that second question – even if it is just for the fun of startling them.