Rachel Thaiday: Am I a ‘bad mum’... so many questions all the time

Being a mum is one of life’s greatest gifts but it’s also one of the hardest jobs in the world. Rachel Thaiday confesses why she’s not the perfect parent.

SHE entered the public spotlight as the wife of Brisbane Broncos’ legend Sam Thaiday but Rachel, 33, is much more than a ‘WAG’. As well as being a radio host and personal trainer, the mum-of-two is a strong advocate for women’s mental health. Thaiday spoke out for the first time earlier this year on her battle with postnatal depression after the birth of her daughters, Gracie, 6 and Ellsie, 4.

Through her Nova podcast with Katie Mattin, Am I a Bad Mum? she’s found a platform to help others and share what helped her cope. Thaiday has recently been announced as an ambassador for Brisbane’s Spring Racing Carnival, which she says has allowed her to indulge in her love for horses.

Rachael Thaiday poses at Eagle Farm Racecourse. Picture: Peter Wallis

Where did your love for racing come from?

I grew up in regional South Australia with three horses of my own. I haven’t been in the racing circles but I did all the other things you do with horses as a kid. I did the barrels in the rodeos and pony club, I loved it. Now, I do trail rides when I can and at some stage, would love to have a horse again. I’m excited to be an ambassador because I love racing season. As well as having a genuine love for the horses, I really love the fashion aspect so it’s the perfect fit for me.

What has been the public reaction since opening up about suffering from post-natal depression?

I was super lucky to have a podcast, Am I a Bad Mum? to create that safe environment and have the platform to speak about it. The response from everyone near, far and in between has been overwhelming and heartwarming. It’s been super rewarding to be able to help other women and dads and create a community where people feel comfortable to share their own experiences. It’s been a healing process for me as well.

What led you to speaking out?

My turning point was dropping my little girl, Ellsie, at kindy for the first time this year. All these other kids were crying and wanted their mums and Ellsie just looked at me … it makes me teary thinking about this … she looked at me and put this little peace sign up through the fence and said, “don’t worry mum, I’ve got this.” I was the one left there crying. That was the moment I realised they weren’t babies anymore and I was seeing her all grown up and super confident. In that moment I was able to reflect. I thought I’d let her down when she was little because I was struggling so much myself, but I could see she was a good little kid. I realised I needed to get help to look after myself too.

Rachel and Sam Thaiday with their daughters Gracie and Ellsie.

How did you cope through your lowest points?

Fitness was a massive outlet for me and I encourage anyone to do that. I don’t mean you have to hit the gym but just do some sort of movement. It gives you clarity and an outlet to process any extra emotional feelings you’re having. I also had a great support network with family and friends and found the courage to speak to someone and ask for help.

What makes you ask ‘am I a bad mum?’

Lots of things. Am I a bad mum for not telling my child off when she swears? Am I a bad mum because I’m laughing when my child swears? It’s those moments when you go, I should be reprimanding them but I’m not, why? Am I a bad mum for wanting a glass of champagne at midday on a Wednesday, does that make me a bad? Does that make me normal? Or does that make me insane? There are so many questions all the time.

How have your parenting roles changed since Sam retired from the Broncos?

He is actually away more now with media commitments. He’s worked hard to create that so it’s exciting to see him develop and blossom in another work realm. It’s a really big thing to retire. I don’t think any of them (retiring footballers) are ready for it. I don’t know if there’s enough open conversations about how hard it’s going to be for them. It hasn’t been an easy year for Sam coming off the footy field.

What have been the challenges?

Footballers are like racehorses. They train at a certain time, eat at a certain time, do the same exercises, perform at a certain time. They’re so programmed into routine and when they’re let out into a field, it’s a really big change. The two key things for Sam have been routine and finding his identity away from football.

How did you and Sam meet?
We’ve been married seven years, together for eight but we’ve been best friends for 20 years. We met in grade eight in high school. We did go out for a week in grade eight but I dumped him because he was a mute. He was so shy and didn’t talk. I was the chatterbox. We reconnected randomly years and years later when Sam asked me out. We’ve always had a good friendship and its been amazing.