Fran Whiting: My advice to new mums during COVID-19

Becoming a first-time mum is challenging, and the new rules of social distancing are only making that time harder. Fran Whiting has words of advice on what bubs really need at this time.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers everywhere – thank you for all that you do to keep this world keep on keeping on.

And for those of you who have lost your much loved mothers, or who long to be mothers yourselves but are having trouble, thank you for keeping on keeping on also.

This particular Mother’s Day column, however, is dedicated to first-time mothers, those women who have had babies during these strange, socially distanced days.

It must be daunting to be a first-time mum at the moment; I well remember how daunting it was when there were no isolation rules at play.

Fran Whiting: My letter to my mum this Mother’s Day

My husband is having a mid-life crisis

Even then, back in what I now realise were the very good old days, when I brought my newborn son home, I realised somewhere between the hospital and our house that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

This was despite having read Robin Barker’s Baby Love book so many times that when I actually interviewed her years later, I behaved like a crazed fan quoting parts of her own book at her, while she smiled at me sweetly, her eyes darting around while she whispered the word “Security” between her teeth. Anyway, I somehow got through those early days, and thought that this Mother’s Day I would share with the first-time mothers reading this at home, some tips and tricks I learnt as a new mum.

Columnist Frances Whiting at home.

● Never wear white. Ever. Give away anything you own in this colour. You will not be wearing it again for many, many years.

● Accept that poo, wee and vomit are now very much a part of your life. Your adorable baby will wee on you often; do not fight it, instead embrace it by saying, “Hamish got me a beauty in the eye today”. Later, much of this wee, poo and vomit will be your own, from things they have brought home from daycare. Just giving you a heads-up.

● As your child grows, never, ever brag to people about things he or she can do. This is because the moment you say “Clara can sit up now!” to someone, Clara will stop sitting up the moment that person comes into the room. She will then continue not sitting up the entire time they are in the room, but will do it again the moment they leave.

● You may be a robotics engineer, your partner may be an aeronautic mechanic, it doesn’t matter, either way neither of you will be able to work out how to strap one of those baby sling thingies to your chest.

● Do not worry that the current pandemic means you are yet to join a mothers’ group that meets in the park while their babies adorably roll around on picnic blankets. While these groups can be the start of lifelong friendships, they can also be minefields of competition. You have to endure other mothers blathering on about how their baby slept through the night, how their baby is meeting all their milestones early, etc, etc. On the upside, you can sit there secure in the knowledge that your baby is superior to theirs in every conceivable way.

● The one thing your baby needs most from you is love. And food. And drink. And shelter. And clothing. But mostly love. So, pandemic be damned, you’ve got this.

*This one is for Nat, Terry and Sebastian.