Julia Morris on why ending her marriage set her “free”
In a raw and candid chat, Gold Logie nominee Julia Morris has opened up about the demise of her 20-year marriage, revealing “let’s just say I wasn’t married to the person I thought I was.”
Stellar
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It would be easy for Julia Morris to crawl into bed and hide under the doona, given the emotional upheaval of her recent past. Her marriage went kaput, a long-running partnership with her TV co-host and friend Dr Chris Brown came to an end, her beloved dog died and her father is in ill health. But rather than crumble, the comedian and Gold Logie nominee is creating a new reality – and a new wardrobe – and, as she tells Stellar, she’s feeling better than ever.
The only man Julia Morris hopes to bring home in her future stands less than 20cm tall and is made of gold, silver and pewter. The newly divorced star isn’t afraid to admit she badly wants to win the Gold tonight at the 63rd TV Week Logies, but when it comes to looking for new love – or even dating – she is far less ambitious. “Give me 10 years and I will see what I am up to, but seriously I am having the time of my life,” she tells Stellar with a hearty laugh. “One thing I can say now is that I wake up and there are cartoon birds on my fingers – I am that happy.
“The renovation is finished,” she continues. “I did a full renovation on my house, and it went on for the two years of the separation of town and country and all the emotional revelations that come with it. Maybe I really like to punish myself.”
Morris had envisaged the fixer-upper in suburban Melbourne would be the place she and her then-husband Dan Thomas would call home together. Instead, it became her solo project. And she seized the opportunity for a fresh start for herself and her daughters Ruby, 17, and Sophie, 15, by overseeing a Barbie-Dream-House-meets-1970s-suburban-chic transformation.
The property now boasts spaces in which each of them can retreat to pursue their individual
interests: Ruby has room to cultivate her keen interest in fashion; and Sophie has an art studio, which, with its indoor swing, TV and green screen, doubles as the ultimate
teen “chill-out zone”.
Morris is hugely encouraging of her girls’ creativity. So much so that the comic has even had their drawings added to her growing collection of tattoos (think Angelina Jolie’s bridal veil, but inked onto flesh). Not leaving her own needs out of the equation, Morris trumpets: “I also built myself a gown cellar! It’s off my bathroom, it’s all hermetically sealed so no steam gets in, and all the gorgeous gowns I have worn over the years are hanging there and coloured coded. The best part is I can see them from my bed. You know how people build cellars for their wine, and that looks very nice, but wine bottles all look the same, don’t they?”
The Gold Logie – should she win – will not be making an appearance in her entirely pink boudoir, which Morris has playfully dubbed “the jizz-free zone” in celebration of her new-found singledom. Instead the statue would go straight to the laundry and take pride of place alongside her stand-up comedy trophies – so she could admire it as “I sort my colours from my whites”.
Being up for the Gold for the second year in a row has been a bright spot in an otherwise challenging period that has seen the demise of her 16-year marriage, the end of her TV partnership with Dr Chris Brown as co-hosts of the reality series I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, and the loss of her beloved dog Tootsie.
“Add to all of that my father has been dying for a year and a half,” she says, acknowledging the injustice of being able to euthanise a sick pet while watching helplessly as her father suffers. The experience has forced Morris to face up to her own mortality. As she says, “I know there’s absolutely no way I am headed to the nursing home. I am off to Switzerland to get that [euthanasia] tablet, put it in my safe and have it there when the time comes because, at the moment, you have to be days from dying to be able to choose to die – and I don’t see that working for me.”
Morris’ former co-host and close friend Brown has been a rock through it all – which was partly why she was so thrown for a loop when he told her he was leaving the show. While happy to see Brown grab new TV opportunities this year, she wrestled with her feelings about his departure. There was, she admits, a bit of “resentment.
I was just like, ‘Seriously? Why?’ There was so much sadness with him going because I absolutely adore him. And then I’m like, at 55, how many big formats are going to still be thrown? This has a direct effect on my career.
“I definitely went into a little bit of a spin but then I thought, God, after what I’ve been through, you could put a peanut beside me, and I would make the show work.”
Contrary to recent reports, Morris says that fellow comedian and TV presenter Sam Pang is not a certainty to join her in South Africa in 2024 for the next season of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! “My first thought was, everyone who is auditioning will have the wind taken out of their sails,” she says. “And my second thought was, then what am I doing [at these chemistry read auditions]? That story also said it would be great to have a comedy genius onboard, and I was like, right.”
The inference being that Morris needs a male co-host to bring the laughs is only one of many times in her career she has encountered the “women aren’t as funny as men” tiresome trope. “I think there is, how to word this carefully, a cred that is attached to male comics that isn’t attached to female comics,” she says. “I think for the boys it’s theirs to lose and for the girls, it’s ours to gain. So we are always starting from the bottom, working our way up.”
With that in mind, Morris agrees that replacing Brown with a female co-host could leave the show more vulnerable to criticism. Who could forget the reaction to the much-hyped pairing of Deborah Knight with Georgie Gardner on the Today show in 2019 when the ratings took a steep dive? “But I’d at least like to give it a shot in the pre-checks,” Morris offers. “I don’t know how it would roll, but it’s worth a viewing. Just look at Amy Poehler and Tina Fey – we love them.”
Why, then, does Morris – a TV veteran, celebrated stand-up comedian and double Gold nominee – need to share the job, anyway? “Who knows if that’s not going to be considered, too,” she hazards, before adding that her preference would be to share the gig so that she has “someone to giggle with”.
Her return to stand-up this year, however, has been a proud display of independence, with some of the more painful aspects of her personal life providing fodder. In the show (every word of which she’s run past her lawyers), Morris opens up on the breakdown of her marriage. She’s asked her audiences to “sit on her secrets” and is delighted that they have honoured her request so far.
So what exactly does she dish in those crowded theatres? She pauses before teasing, “I share what it felt like to be married for 20 years, I share the break-up story and I share the fall-out. It’s not salacious. Well, it has salacious vibes. Let’s just say I wasn’t married to the person I thought I was.”
Even her own daughters had to wait until they were in the audience to learn what she was sharing.
“It was the first time they’ve ever seen me do stand-up and I wasn’t sure how they’d go because I show lots of photos,” she admits. “But they roared and there was sparkling high energy on that drive home from Geelong. They were like, ‘Mum, you’re a boss!’ They have seen my phoenix from the flames vibe.”
Upon reflection, despite her best efforts to put on a display of family harmony for her girls, there were constant “smart-arse vibes” in the house when she was still with Thomas. “We are much more a party of three, which has left them feeling incredibly secure and heard,” she reveals. “Being heard is an important thing for teenagers.”
Morris has also come to realise that ending her marriage has set a positive example to the girls about being brave enough to make tough choices. “They have seen me walk the walk. In doing that and then seeing my life improve dramatically, they are seeing that for themselves,” she explains to Stellar. “And that’s a really exciting thing to have changed.”
Far from trying to shield her daughters from the realities of her break up, Morris has been honest and has left it to them to decide what their relationship with their father will look like. “I have become an Olympic medallist in running him down,” she says with a laugh, then adds, “But to be honest, I have been trying to stop doing that because I don’t want to let him into my life at all anymore.”
It’s only after a lot of therapy and introspection that Morris has learnt to put herself first. And that has meant cutting off all ties with Thomas. “I’m free. I don’t still have to have those same conversations,” she says. “Unfortunately, I’ve had my eyes opened and I’ve had a big awakening about my people pleasing and what I will tolerate and how I see the best in people – and that’s not always the truth.”
The dating world has, of course, changed dramatically since Morris was last footloose and fancy free. And while friends are encouraging Morris to “get on the dating apps” she has zero interest in that.
Nor does she see today’s fad of sending nude pictures as any sort of enticement. “Show me a picture of you stacking the dishwasher!” she suggests instead. “Show you know where the tablet is and how to turn the thing on.”
Even if that Gold Logie doesn’t end up on her laundry shelf, Morris is optimistic about the future. “I am moving into my Betty White phase,” she says of the beloved late actor whose career peaked at retirement age. “Let’s go! I’m ready for the next bit. I’m going to do it all. I’m going to do movies. I’ll have a sitcom or a dram-com. The best is yet to come for me because, after being held back as long as I was, emotionally, I’m not even out of first gear yet.”
The TV Week Logie Awards start at 7pm tonight on the Seven Network and 7plus.
Read the full interview inside The Sunday Telegraph (NSW), Sunday Herald Sun (VIC), The Sunday Mail (QLD), and Sunday Mail (SA) this weekend.
Originally published as Julia Morris on why ending her marriage set her “free”
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