‘I’m right, and they’re scared’: Former Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel on leading a ‘reality reckoning’

Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel explains why she is calling for a ‘reckoning’ of the genre that made her famous, and why she wants reality TV stars to form a union.

‘She finds it trashy’. Bethenny Frankel has ruled out returning to reality TV. Picture: Getty Images

A take-no-prisoners attitude, business smarts and biting wit took Bethenny Frankel from reality star on the Real Housewives to a businesswoman worth millions.

As she prepares to bring her speaking tour to Australia, the 53-year-old talks to Stellar about modern housewives, motherhood and why a “reality reckoning” is long overdue.

You’ve said you “played the fame game and won” and yet you’re leading the charge in the US for reality stars to unionise, particularly in the wake of the SAG-AFTRA and WGA strikes in Hollywood. What’s the reasoning behind your so-called “reality reckoning”? 

People who are in scripted television are more protected because they’re reading someone else’s words. If they [actors] do drugs … they can hide behind the character. The person who smokes pot [on reality TV] isn’t protected. And the network isn’t going to slap you down when you’re going to do something that might ruin your life … or when there’s sexual exploitation or when someone’s had too many drinks and blacks out, because that’s good television. There’s really no guardian. They’ve made massive changes since I brought that up, because I’m right, and they’re scared. 

You likened reality TV to junk food in the sense that it’s addictive and the stars keep having to up the ante to give viewers their fix. What’s the solution?

If someone is blackout wasted, getting that entertainment has more value than the person who might be an addict and is doing something harmful to themselves. So, the viewer and the ratings have more value than the human being that needs to be protected as an employee. Because they’re not technically an employee. This is not a technically legal workplace, which is the crux of the issue. 

Bethenny Frankel is headed to Australia for a speaking tour. Picture: Getty Images

A lot of popular reality shows involve toxic behaviour, particularly from women. Is it possible for the Real Housewives to exist without it? 

That’s the exploration versus exploitation concept. It’s funny because the prosthetic limb season [of The Real Housewives Of New York City, during which Aviva Drescher hurled her prosthetic leg across a table during an argument in 2017] didn’t rate so well. The show was on a decline and they let her go. I always bring up the iconic [fight] scene with Kelly Bensimon and myself [where Bensimon told Frankel: “I don’t like you. I don’t think you are funny. We aren’t friends, we will never be friends”]. It was a real conflict. I think throwing a leg is crossing a line and was definitely produced. 

Have you had a response from reality stars who agree with your idea to form a union?

The industry knows this is the correct course of action. The media has been shockingly aligned. SAG-AFTRA [the American union representing actors and screenwriters] didn’t need any persuasion. They came to me. The line is, “Oh, [reality stars] knew what they signed up for.” How could you know before you get in? 

What advice would you give to anyone contemplating reality TV? 

Tread lightly. It’s a different space now. And it’s not that easy. If you’re a serious businessperson, and you’ll succeed anywhere, and reality TV could give you a leg up [it might suit you]. But even if you’re smart in business or just smart, it doesn’t mean this will work out for you. And it could be too risky. It’s fool’s gold in a way. For many people, it’s positive. This is a place where middle-aged women can make a living that they wouldn’t be able to make elsewhere for the second chapter of their life. I didn’t come out unscathed, though – people think the things that I said on TV define me. And they don’t. 

Is it harder to have any level of privacy after being on a show like Real Housewives? 

I could have a very private life if I wanted … but there’s a line. I never wanted a show about my relationship. My show [Bethenny Ever After, which aired from 2010 to 2012 and detailed her short-lived marriage to Jason Hoppy] was supposed to be about my business. The powers-that-be can be very convincing, which is why there are so many children and spouses on reality TV. They don’t want to be on, and they get chewed up and spat out in the process. As they get older, they’re embarrassed. They’re traumatised. They have emotional issues. That’s something you didn’t know you were signing up for. 

The former Real Housewives of New York star is leading a ‘reality reckoning’ in support of non-scripted stars. Picture: Getty Images

Now that your daughter Bryn is 13, has it made you think twice about what you say and do for fear of embarrassing her? 

As you get to a certain age and you’re trying to teach good life lessons and you’re saying to your child, “Not everything needs to be said … You don’t have to be enemies with anybody. You don’t always have to take the bait.” I see reality television through a different lens because my daughter is embarrassed. There’s not a world where I would go back, because she finds it trashy.

What can fans expect to hear you talk about at your live show, In Conversation With Bethenny Frankel, when you bring it to Australia next year? 

Motherhood. Business – I run a serious business; I’ve made more out of my business since leaving Housewives than when I was on it. [I talk about how] to be fearless and be able to jump from one thing when you feel it’s right and ultimately flying; about social media; about life as you get older, co-parenting, divorce. All these kinds of things.

Are there things that you and Bryn plan to do together when you’re here? 

I’ll probably take her surfing. I haven’t been to Melbourne before but I have friends in Sydney, so we’ll make plans to see them. She’s really dying to see a koala bear.   

In Conversation With Bethenny Frankel will be at Melbourne’s Palais Theatre on March 15 and Sydney’s ICC Theatre on March 22. For details, visit abstract.net.au.

Read the full interview with Bethenny Frankel inside The Sunday Telegraph (NSW), Sunday Herald Sun (VIC), The Sunday Mail (QLD) and Sunday Mail (SA).

Originally published as ‘I’m right, and they’re scared’: Former Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel on leading a ‘reality reckoning’