‘I could let it ruin my life or I could focus on what’s real’: Nadia Bartel breaks her silence
It was the 4-second video that changed everything for Nadia Bartel. Now, she has opened up for the first time about the incident, the aftermath – and what happens next.
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It is a rainy day in Melbourne, and Nadia Bartel is on set with Stellar. She’s in full fashion mode, wearing a printed Dior maxiskirt teamed with a crop top – a welcome contrast to the grey sky outside.
As well as being her home town, the city is where Bartel still lives and operates her businesses, and is raising her two young sons. It’s also where the 37-year-old is looking ahead with a renewed sense of focus and energy after what has been, even by her own admission, a difficult stretch.
Things are buzzing for Bartel – not only on the set of Stellar’s shoot, but also in her life. In recent weeks, she travelled to Los Angeles so she could continue planning the US expansion of Henne, the fashion label she runs with her sister Michelle Ring.
And they’re entering the final weeks of preparation for Henne’s second stand-alone show in as many years at Afterpay Australian Fashion Week in Sydney next month.
Leaning into the popular buzzword of the moment, Stellar asks Bartel to consider which “era” she’s entering. “Growth,” she replies. “I’m growing into the person I’m meant to be. I’m excited about the future, [and] about what that looks like.”
Still, she adds, “I won’t lie and say it has been easy.”
As a fashion influencer and designer, Bartel knows what it’s like to be closely scrutinised by the public, to have her private life picked apart and her every move judged – whether she was walking the Brownlow red carpet, where she was once a regular as part of one of the AFL’s most recognisable couples, or doing the school pick-up, with paparazzi lurking as she collects her two young sons.
But nothing could have prepared her for what happened on the night of September 2, 2021. Days prior, Bartel had finalised her divorce from ex-husband, former Geelong star Jimmy Bartel, after five years of marriage. Melbourne was in the midst of a harsh, months-long lockdown prompted by Covid. Nonetheless, Bartel was gathered with her girlfriends at one of their homes, a breach of lockdown laws owing to the city’s strict regulations at that time.
That night, one of those friends uploaded a four-second video to Instagram that was taken at the party. In the footage, which was soon deleted, Bartel was seen snorting what appeared to be white powder. The incident was investigated, and Bartel and others were fined for breaching Covid restrictions. In the aftermath, Bartel turned inward. News reports about what had transpired that night followed – and continued – for months. Commentary across social media was brutal.
Now, for the first time, Bartel is ready to talk. “I’ve never spoken publicly about it,” she tells Stellar during an at-times emotional interview. “And all of the articles that were written were driven by the media; a lot of it was their own [rumours]. But I understand the interest in it. I understand why they need to write about it.
“I made a big mistake,” she says of that night. “And I accept that.
“I just feel there’s a real, ongoing pursuit for it – still. And that’s what feels very hurtful.”
When asked about the events of that night, and if there have been any lingering misconceptions that Bartel would like to clarify publicly, she reflects: “When it first happened, I wanted to tell my story and speak my truth about everything that actually happened. I think that, as time has passed, I’ve come to a point where I realise: whatever I say, people will have their own opinions – and that’s fine.
“I just want my actions to speak louder than any words. The social-media reaction was very negative towards me; it hurt a lot. What hurt more was the feeling that I’d let people down, disappointed people who I love and whose opinion means the world to me. And also that I let down people [who] look up to me. I’ve got a responsibility to them, so rebuilding that trust – and rebuilding the trust in my inner circle – was my priority.
“I’m lucky I’ve got a really close family and lots of supportive friends who I have known for a long time. They know who I really am. That’s what I tried to focus on. Not all the outside noise, but instead the people who know me and how I actually live my life and what I stand for.”
After the incident, Bartel took a hiatus from Instagram, where she has more than half a million followers, although she admits her absence “wasn’t something I purposely thought about. I guess I was just really trying to get through [it]. I didn’t even notice that I had gone quiet. It was such a time for me to reflect on the person I want to be.”
In the end, she reveals, “Having that time off social media did help a lot. [Instagram] can be hard at times. I can be in a really good headspace and then go on to social media, and see something that triggers me. I remember when I had my marriage breakdown, I’d see families together … and you feel horrible.”
By her own admission, that night in 2021 changed Bartel forever. “There are certain things that can only come from failing in such a really big, public way,” she admits. “I’ve become a lot more nervous and anxious and introverted. I think [it] made me a lot more aware of what matters in life. At the time, I had two choices. I could let it totally ruin my life, hide away, and never show my face again. Or I could focus my attention on what’s actually real and important to me.”
Now, she’s focused on the two things that bring her a sense of personal and professional satisfaction: her boys, and her business empire.
Bartel, who also co-owns the tanning brand Spray Aus with her friend Rebecca Judd, reflects on the early success of Henne, which is self-funded. Last year, the label held an intimate, off-site runway show at Fashion Week. “We saw such an incredible result,” she recalls. “So many more unique visitors to the site, such growth in the Sydney market. For Henne, it’s a big achievement – it was a dream for me that maybe one day
we could show [at Fashion Week].”
This time around, she says, the label’s show will “be larger than last year’s – the collection is inspired by the ’80s and power-suiting. We do have a feel that is a bit more ‘fashion’ than what we normally do at Henne. The show will feel very different to last year.”
Asked about her presence in the fashion space, Bartel plays down her influence. “It’s more that I’ve got a two-way dialogue with my audience and I always have,” she explains. “A lot of the people following me have been [doing so] since I was 20 or 21. They’ve
seen me when I was working full-time in magazines, they’ve seen me get married and have children, and go on to create my own business. I turn to my audience as much as they turn to me. I’ve always tried to be very authentic. I’m pretty much talking about the same things as I was all those years ago.”
She first rose to fame as the girlfriend – and later wife – of Brownlow medallist Jimmy Bartel. Once a golden couple of the AFL social scene, they split in 2019. In the years since, the pair have co-parented their sons Aston, now 7, and Henley, 4.
“Co-parenting, you know … it’s got its challenges,” Bartel says. “I’m not going to sit here and say it has been easy. My focus is always on the boys and what’s best for them. I’ll always try to protect them as much as I can.” They are, she adds, “our number-one priority, always. I feel a lot of responsibility on my shoulders being their mum. I want to be a good role model. Kids absorb so much just from watching you. I want to teach them to be kind and thoughtful and respectful. With boys as well, I want them to be open with their feelings; it’s OK to feel sad and upset. I want them to always feel like they can come to me and talk about everything. That’s the kind of parent I want to be.”
As for her daily life as a mother of two, Bartel wakes up about 5am most days, and tries to meditate, journal and work out (an at-home pilates routine for 10 minutes) before the boys are up and their day gets going. In their home, she says, “There’s no such thing as a quiet day. Aston is very sporty, he’s sensitive and wise for his years. They both love sport. Henley is outgoing, he’s funny … he’s got a lot more spunk to his personality, he’s a lot more wild – he’ll jump off things. Aston is a lot more cautious and will want to know the reason behind things. He asks a lot of questions. Being seven now, [his] friends at school talk about TikTok. He kind of says, ‘Oh, Mum, what’s this TikTok?’”
When Stellar asks if the boys have a sense yet of their mother’s fame, Bartel muses: “I don’t think they’re aware of it. There have been moments where they have seen [paparazzi], a few times when we’ve been in the car and there have been cameras flashing. The boys have been like, ‘Mummy, why is that man taking a photo?’ And I’ve tried to explain it. They’re still young and still unaware. They know their dad played football. We talk about that.”
For years, Bartel was branded by both the media and public as a “WAG”, a term she’d prefer to leave in the past – where she believes it belongs. “It’s so outdated,” she explains. “I think it’s implying that your whole identity is based on your partner.
“I can’t believe it’s used a lot. Still, today – particularly when it’s given to women who had their own work before they met their partners. I find it interesting that there’s no male equivalent, you know?
“I never thought of myself as a WAG. I guess the title was around and that’s what the media used. I find it interesting when people use that term for me now, when I’m not with [Jimmy] any more. It was never a term that suited me. I never connected to it.”
As for the future, Bartel is focused on moving forward. Having posted photos on Instagram of herself with Melbourne-based businessman Peter Dugmore, she publicly confirms to Stellar for the first time that they are indeed in a relationship. “I like keeping things private,” she says. “He’s a nice person. I’m taking it slow, but things are good there.”
She pauses, and takes a breath: “I just continue to live my life by focusing on what is real, which is my boys, my work, my actual relationships in real life, with the people around me.”
For more from Stellar, listen to our podcast, Something To Talk About.
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