Expert advice: Valentine’s Day in the early stages of dating

Is it weird to have a first date on Valentine’s Day? Should I buy my date a gift? Expert tips for new couples and singles looking for love.

In the early stages of dating, Valentine’s Day can be a minefield. People have different expectations and interpret gifts and dates in different ways.

A survey of 1000 Australians aged 18 to 54 by online dating app Bumble shows more than half (56 per cent) believe a first date on Valentine’s Day adds too much pressure.

Almost two-thirds (63 per cent) say the same of an extravagant gift after just one or two dates.

Still, 67 per cent believe it is appropriate to ask someone out on Valentine’s Day or give them a gift, even in early stages of dating. Here are some tips to guide you through the most romantic day of the year:

WHAT TO EXPECT

Bumble’s Asia Pacific communications director Lucille McCart says the key to navigating Valentine’s Day with a new flame is to be clear about expectations.

The survey finds about half of Australians think Valentine’s Day has become less relevant, but a third say it is important.

Bumble’s Lucille McCart says communicating expectations is key. Picture: Supplied

“It’s totally fine to do nothing for Valentine’s Day but if you are a romantic person and want to do something special that is cool, too,” McCart says. “It’s about making sure you and your date are on the same page.”

THOUGHTFUL GIFTS

Extravagant gifts not only have the potential to add unwanted pressure to a new relationship, they are also in less demand.

Almost three quarters (74 per cent) of Australians say they would prefer a thoughtful gift.

McCart says an example is a personalised playlist.

“Making a playlist for someone is really special and nostalgic,” she says.

“Also, anything that shows you listened to something they have said, such as cooking a meal they mentioned they loved or making a favourite cocktail.

“Showing you have heard what someone’s interests are often resonates more than a fancy dinner – although there is also a place for that.”

Thoughtful gifts are better than expensive ones for three quarters of Aussies. Picture: iStock

DATE IDEAS

There has been a significant increase in activity and experience-based dates such as coastal walks, kayaking, picnics or golfing, McCart says.

These can be ideal for early in a relationship as there is less pressure than dinner or drinks in an expensive restaurant.

“A pottery class or cooking class are great ways to bond and get to know someone on a deeper level,” she says.

“After the past couple of years, everyone is looking to get out of the house.”

DO IT EARLY

McCart says new couples and people freshly dating are lucky that Valentine’s Day is on a Monday this year.

“I would recommend a Saturday or Sunday activity before the day to take the pressure off,” she says. “You can still exchange gifts without having too much pressure.”

MIXED MESSAGES

McCart warns against celebrating Valentine’s Day with someone if the relationship is not exclusive – unless this has been clarified beforehand.

“It’s important you are not sending mixed messages,” she says.

“Understand what the perception might be but if everyone is clear about what the situation is, be as generous as you like.”

Tahlia Zarafetas looks forward to Valentine's Day every year. Picture: Supplied

Sydney’s Tahlia Zarafetas, 24, says she is “talking to a few guys” on Bumble but none have asked for a Valentine’s date.

“(If someone did) I would assume things are going to progress and I won’t get the flick,” she says. “(But even if he didn’t want to be exclusive) that would melt my heart.

“Just to know they tried is what matters – that they want to take you somewhere.”

Zarafetas says she would prefer a thoughtful gift over something extravagant, such as expensive jewellery, as that would be “setting the bar real high”.

“A good thoughtful gift for me would be a bouquet of roses,” she says. “Who doesn’t love flowers? That’s what I want this year.”