Experts reveal how to talk to your kids about their size
Weight can be an ongoing anxiety for many parents. Here are some tips for ensuring your child develops healthy habits.
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Weight is one of the first things parents learn about their child.
The news is delivered almost as soon as the baby itself, and size and weight dominate the adult chatter of every child’s infancy.
Is it any wonder weight is an ongoing anxiety for many parents?
Danni Rowlands, prevention services national manager at the Butterfly Foundation, said search terms like “is my child too skinny?” or “is my child too fat?” are toxic, because such language harms parent and child alike.
“Weight is a really complex thing. One of the major issues we have is all this information that’s coming to us from external sources,” she said.
Ms Rowlands added that parents often fixate on weight and shape because they’re tangible and visible.
“People think that’s the thing that needs to be fixed and that’s not the case. If parents are concerned, reach out, ask for support, get away from the Google searches and (look) at your child as a whole child,” she said.
“We’re hearing about … the rate of higher weight in children, so the instinct of feeding and making sure your child is growing and developing at the rate that’s right for them is really blurred.”
Sadly, serious eating and/or body image issues can develop.
Ms Rowland said warning signs include withdrawal, concealment and/or drastic changes in the way a child eats.
“Typically it (occurs) in early adolescence. If it’s happening in children, often there seems to be other mental health concerns, such as anxiety, underpinning the development,” she said.
Ashley de Silva, CEO of ReachOut, said the pandemic had hit stressed parents hard in this regard.
“There has been a spike in demand for information from ReachOut.com about body image during COVID-19 restrictions,” he said.
Both organisations recommend modelling healthy habits as one of the most effective ways parents can support their child and help them build a positive body image.
“Things like talking about your body in a positive way in front of your teenager, cooking healthy meals together and enjoying exercise together,” Mr de Silva said.
Mother of two Amy Bromley found tone-deaf medical terminology harmful when she saw a paediatrician about youngest child Jack.
While both her babies weighed in at 2.6 kgs at birth, Jack’s progress flatlined on the growth charts aged one.
“They’re writing ‘failure to thrive’ and I’m thinking, ‘My god, is this even worse than I thought?’’ All these terrible thoughts are running through your head,” she said.
Ms Bromley was so alarmed she searched ‘What are the signs of dwarfism?’ online.
“‘Failure to thrive’ is a pretty horrible term,” she said.
“In my house, we use the word healthy and never say thin or fat.”
Today Jack is eight years old, a red-headed firecracker who wears size 5 clothing.
His mum darts all his shorts, buys drawstring pants and mandates daily fruit and vegetables.
Nonetheless, Ms Bromley admits her new worry is Jack aspiring to unrealistic body images.
“Because he’s skeletal, you can see all his muscles, and I think he focuses on that quite a bit now, especially in a world of superheroes,” she said.
“You’ve got to be careful that they don’t go down that path of trying to fit (that) body type.”
These days Ms Bromley’s reassurance comes not from Google but Jack himself, who punches above his weight in personality, intellect and athleticism.
“He’s an absolute go-getter. He just has an enthusiasm for life,” she said.
Concerned parents should see their family GP.
WHERE TO GO FOR HELP
* The Butterfly Foundation is Australia’s national eating disorder and body image charity. butterfly.org.au, national helpline 1800 334 673
* ReachOut offers online mental health support for young people and parents.
* If Not Dieting follows Dr Rick Kausman’s pioneering book, 2002’s If Not Dieting, Then What?
ifnotdieting.com.au
* The Mindful Dietitian is Fiona Sutherland, a “committed non-diet dietitian”.
themindfuldietitian.com.au
* Health Not Diets takes a health at every size (HAES) approach.
healthnotdiets.com