Rob Mills and fiancee Georgie Tunny are proof that dry dating can lead to long-term love

If you’re looking to find your forever partner, consider ditching dinner with wine for dry dating during daylight hours, says Rob Mills.

Dating without drinking alcohol, especially in the first months, could be the key to securing a long-term relationship, experts say.

Adelaide psychologist Brigitte Zonta says there are many benefits of dry dating.

“Without alcohol, you’re really in tune with yourself, how you feel with the other person, and you can pay attention to the small things you miss when under the influence,” Zonta says.

“You’ll probably notice how the conversation is flowing and you’re less likely to miss the red or yellow flags. If you’re looking for a relationship, this gives you the opportunity to see if you like the person rather than relying on alcohol as a buffer.’’

It’s a trend that often goes hand in hand with day dating – where new couples choose to date during the day, favouring brunch or activities such as walking, going to a movie, bowling, and surfing, over dinners.

Conversations can often flow better when couples choose activities such as going for long walks rather than boozy dinners.

Zonta, who’s also known as Dr Lurve for Smile Direct, says people don’t tend to drink as much alcohol during the day and it’s an especially good option for online daters.

“You’re more inclined to feel safer in the day and there’ll be more people around,” she says.

“Dry and day dating has been successful for my clients because it’s about saying ‘I just want to hang out with you’ rather than focusing on outcomes which always sets you up for failure.”

WALK THIS WAY

It’s a system that worked perfectly for celebrity Rob Mills when he met his fiancée Georgie Tunny four years ago.

It wasn’t intentional, beginning as the most practical option before soon becoming the preferred option as well.

Now engaged, the couple still talk most when they go on walks. In fact, Mills even proposed to Tunny straight after a three-hour walk-up Mt Kosciuszko earlier this year.

Rob Mills and Georgie Tunny announce their engagement on social media.

“There’s something to be said about walking, especially for blokes,” Mills says.

“Blokes would benefit highly from doing more of this because they don’t feel the judgment that can happen from sitting down across from each other at a table and we like to do something while we’re talking.

“Still to this day, we have some of our best conversations out walking and in the car.”

Their dry dating happened because Mills was working at night and Tunny was on ABC breakfast television. He’d meet her at 11am and they’d take a walk, have brunch or breakfast.

“One night I went to her place with a bottle of wine, and I had half a glass when I thought ‘I don’t need to finish this’,’’ he says.

“I just realised I didn’t need it and Georgie’s more of a milkshake kind of girl anyway.

Rob Mills and Georgie Tunny.

“Now, we rarely drink in the house at all. I understand the whole drinking thing to feel less inhibited but there’s something to be said for getting to know who you are as a person without the alcohol, and you remember a lot more about your partner if there’s no alcohol.

“Most of my dating has been dinner and drinks but over the years I’ve done a lot of work with my psych, and I just grew up. Alcohol is truly depressing. You don’t feel better the day after.”

He’s been working with the Hello Sunday Morning platform to celebrate non-drinkers rather than shaming anyone who prefers to be out on a Sunday morning than in bed nursing a hangover.

RASH DECISIONS

Victorian Drug and Alcohol Association CEO Sam Biondo says while alcohol reduces inhibitions it also increases the likelihood of making rash decisions, putting yourself at greater risk.

“While initially alcohol can contribute to an increase in confidence, this effect wanes and can lead to negative feelings such as anger and anxiety,” Biondo says.

“It’s probable that abstaining from alcohol will benefit a relationship because it will be more likely to be built on foundations of a healthy lifestyle which will positively impact other aspects of the relationship and broader health.”

He also cautioned on the trend to normalise alcohol consumption with alcohol contributing to 4.5 per cent of the burden on the health system and costing the nation $22.6 billion a year.

A couple on a dry date drinking milkshakes.

HOW TO DRY DATE

• Ask the other person if they’re happy to go on the first date without alcohol.

• Explain your reasons -you want to be more present, communicate better.

• If the other person refuses, it’s a good vetting system to know they’re not good at compromising or listening to your needs.

• Be clear about what you want so there’s no guessing.

Source: Brigitte Zonta

Originally published as Rob Mills and fiancee Georgie Tunny are proof that dry dating can lead to long-term love